Why Connection Matters Now

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And I think when you talk about communication and community, being more real and more honest at everything you do and not being ashamed or afraid to do it really opens up the door for greater connection at different levels with new people.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Welcome to the Absolute Dog Sex in a Squirrel podcast. I'm Lauren Langman. I'm one of the world's leading dog trainers, and it's my mission to help owners become their dog's top priority. In each episode, you'll discover how to gain trust and communicate with your dog like never before, creating unbreakable bonds that make you the most exciting part of their world. Connection, community, it all matters so much. Not just in dog training, in life. Now, Justin, I'm so glad we're back here together. I love connecting with you. And actually, right at the start, let's connect. Like it that's part of it, isn't it? Like we've known each other how many years now?

SPEAKER_00 1:04

I think eight. I think eight.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

And we have we've had a roller coaster of a connection. Like, I mean, only a few weeks ago we were in California cycling. And how many miles did we do?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, hang on. For most people out there, this is not cycling. This was a journey. We went uh 27 and a half miles in one day. It was awesome. It was incredibly great. And there was no complaining at all.

The Effort Behind Real Friendship

SPEAKER_01 1:29

At the end of it, I was alive and I was well, and I couldn't believe it because we had gone bit through many big roads, like many big roads. I was quite shocked. We went to Venice Beach, which I have to say was an experience in itself. I've never experienced anything quite like Venice Beach. It was enlightening and at times quite shocking. And I loved it. I absolutely loved it. But let's come back to connection. It's all about connection, isn't it? Because that's an effort that I've made in the connection, and you've made in the connection. You gave up your day to hang out on a bike, and I gave up my day to uh be in California with you guys, and that's all part of the connection.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Yeah, I think that's the I think that's the piece though that you sometimes don't get when you're younger, right? Like I talk to my kids and they get it naturally. Like they just want to go do stuff and hang out. And I think that there's this period between like after college until you're like 40, where you kind of like lose that ability. You think differently. And I think that like, especially as I get older here, and I'm not old. I know you guys can guess, keep guessing out there, you'll never guess it.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

And if you do he's still in his 40s, he's still in his 40s.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Oh, all right, yes, I'm still in my 40s. Got a ways to go. But the point is, is that like I think now, to me, I've really rearranged how I look at things and I urge other people to do this, especially if you're younger, to really focus on connection period with anybody, right? So when you go to Starbucks, rather than just doing it, your digital order and going up to the counter and picking it up, say hi to somebody as you walk in. When you go to them, talk to your barista, talk to whoever, like make that extra connection because one, you have no idea what kind of day someone's having, right? Like you have no idea what's going through their head. They could be having the best day ever, they could be having the worst day. And it never hurts to smile at somebody, and it never hurts to engage with somebody. If you get someone who's crabby, move on to someone else. Like that's not your burden to carry. And when Lauren talked a second ago about like connection between her and I, I think it was very organic at first. We met at a conference together and we've been together eight years. We've done a million podcasts together, we've hung out millions of times, we've traveled together. And I think the effort there, it makes it easy because it's not an effort to hang out with you. Like I enjoy it. Like when we get time to record these, I'm never like, oh crap, I got to meet with Lauren. It's like, yes, today's the day. We started off texting earlier today. We jumped on. And I think what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

I I was just right, writing then. I've written myself a few notes because I love what you're saying. And I definitely didn't want to interrupt or or trip you there. Like for me, we've been through some massive highs and lows as well. I've probably had one of the scariest times of my life knowing you, and not through knowing you, just during the time that we've known each other. And I was so grateful to know you through that time and you going through a really difficult time just in your family and and and going through what you're going through. And like those have been really scary, low times, I'd say, for us both. And that connection means even more when you've almost gone through it. It almost makes it, it's a bit like having. He said, I love your scar. Like I really love your scar because it's like there and it's a story and it's a part of you, and that's a big part of it. And I'd say, through knowing you, what I know you through, like I feel more relaxed in your presence, and I'm sure you do in mine, because we can have a laugh. Like we can have a laugh. I just told you a funny story about California and traveling, and I didn't feel silly telling you whereas I think I'll probably not tell everybody that. And it was another way of reconnecting, right? So for me, the highs and lows of the relationship too, because because we've both probably seen each other at low, low, low points in our life.

Micro Connections With Strangers

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Oh, I mean, I can tell you right now, last year in July was the lowest point of my entire existence. Yes. So I will tell you the having people out there in your corner, especially like you, that you can not only reach out to, but there's no judgment involved. Like I could reach out to you for anything, and it's you're never going to come back and go, why did you do that? You know, it's it's more the let's listen, let's figure it out. And sometimes, you know, you could be a confidant, you can be the comedian, or you can be the person that jumps in and takes hold and kind of guides all the way through. And I think that when we talk about connection in particular, when if you're struggling with connection with anybody, right? I think one of the things that it helps to get back to the core is to really think about what drew you to them originally. Because I would say, even you and I, it has never been all golden roads, right? We've had disagreements. Sometimes we've had different things, but it's never impacted our relationship to the point where I'm like, I never want to see you again, right? In fact, like you talked about highs and lows, I think it brought us even closer together because those are real human moments. And so if you're struggling with someone right now or you're struggling, you know, in a relationship of any kind, one of the things I would urge all of you to do is to think about, you know, I mean, since we're on a dog podcast here, I think it's really important to talk about, I mean, think about your dog, right? You're gonna have highs and lows in that relationship. And so going back to the core of what drew you there, what brings you back to that space of happiness, going back to that time helps to reignite that flame of connection. Because especially with everything going on in the world, right? Like we started off our podcast prior to talking here about how much it costs to fill up your fuel tanks, right? And the same thing over here. Like, I mean, this year has been a roller coaster. We've had two different wars. I mean, it's only three months in. There's a lot going on. And so there's a lot of things where I think communication and community is huge right now. We really need that. And so having people like you, especially in my life, is so important. And it is easy, right? And I think that that is something that we need to value more. What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Massive, like absolutely massive. And I suppose we put in there the distance. So you're in the US, we're in the UK, and the distance does come into it. And so for me, like little connection moments of I quite often send you a funny video that makes me laugh when I hear it, and it might be possibly not appropriate to share on the podcast, but it really just makes me giggle every time. Even when I hear that voice, I just giggle straight away because I'm like, yeah, and I always, always think of you when I hear that voice because I've sent you so many of those videos and they've just kind of reminded me in the morning how to start my day or how to kickstart my get out of bed or whatever it might be. So for me, the distance, like little ways to connect, connection doesn't always have to be like fancy dinner or a big holiday. Connection can actually be a little voice message, and you're really good at doing those, Justin. So that's something I'd say you are like really expert at is connecting through a voice message. You we we've I mean we've been to some cool places. You've been to the UK, I've been to the US, we've been to Portugal together, like we've traveled a few different places together, and that's been really, really fun as well. But often when I'm with you, you will send someone else a voice note, which is something like, I don't know, rise and shine, good morning, how's your day? You always say, like you always connect in a really cool way, like gangster or uh rap star or rock star or like all of the fun stuff. Like we're always having like fun, fun things that make you feel good. Because I think that's so much of connection, isn't it? It's it's actually sometimes you're sending someone a bit of energy to a message, right? Like a bit of good energy to a message or a bit of a reminder of existence. And I know you've been doing that with your kids, I know you've been doing that with your family, I know that you've been doing that with other friends. Like it's it's a nice way of like reaching out, isn't it, and reconnecting.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yeah, I could not agree more. And in fact, I'll add to that, because one of the things that you gave me when you were here, because I I've been struggling with how do I want to connect with my kids even more, right? Because they're 1,500 miles away and I miss them so much, and I only get to see them once a month, right? So, because of that distance. And you had suggested writing notes to them and sending them in physical mail. Holy crap. So they were out here two weeks ago or a week and a half, and one of the first things that Bailey came up to me, she gave me a giant hug and she goes, Thank you so much for those notes, Dad. She goes, That means so much to me. And so I've gotten in the habit for the last six weeks. I've written one every week, if not two. And one, it's something that I enjoy. Yeah, high five, definitely. It was like the coolest idea ever. Because one, it who gets mail, like you said. And two, like it's just that extra effort I put in, right? Like I hadn't written an actual note years, like I don't know how long, but forever. And it's so enjoyable and fun. And sometimes I just write stupid things on there like, hey, I just want to let you know I was thinking about you, and I love you so much. Like it's something very simple. And hearing that they enjoy it that much makes me want to do it even more. And so I think, you know, instead of like worrying about like we have to go like to this extravagant journey, or you know, we've got to do a FaceTime, whatever. Sometimes, like you said, doing it little little things is even more impactful.

Highs Lows And No Judgement

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Sometimes doing it different. And and for example, I got one of these in a note the other week, and I just thought that was a really, really cute little gift, like a really cute gift in a note. It is another little note that I got in another little note was this one. And so the podcast listening, one's a little thank you stone, the other one's a little bit of colored glass, and then another customer gave me this one, which was with paw prints on it and the beach and the ocean, and they painted it themselves. And then in another card, I got I got a little necklace with one of my dogs on them. Or one of my other customers, I just thought this was really beautiful. Was it like a really simple, like printed but in typewriter, like writer form format, like printed note? That is cool. It was just it was just gorgeous. It said, I wish I could show you when you're lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. And I just thought that was so gorgeous, like so gorgeous. So, again, another little piece of glass that was in one of my cards that I've kept, like just really lovely, lovely, lovely things. Or another friend who gave me a little hand knitted owl this week. Like there's lots of little ways to connect. They don't have to be gifts for sure, they can be so many different things, but there are little ways to connect that that make a big difference. Now, I read a quote yesterday, actually, and I sent it to a friend, and it said, and I love this one, don't tolerate the annoying people, the ones who sing hello and chatting cues, the ones who won't let a sunset go down without an applause and say great weather for ducks when it rains. Don't tolerate them, become them. They have it, the answer, because life really is hard and it will have its way with you one or way or the other, my friend. But if you're looking up and you're letting in the light, if you're drinking from the fountain of joy that surrounds us, it might just balance the pain and you might just have a chance of feeling alive whilst you live. And for me, that's part of connection. It's the ones who sing, the ones who chat in cues, the ones who share the sunset, or the ones who shout out to someone else. Great weather for ducks, which you wouldn't know about because you live in California, but in Devon, I certainly do. And like the joybringers, I think I think that's a big part of it. Connection is is sometimes like bringing the joy to the table or reminding people of the joy or the or the gratitude that we can have for so many different things. So, yeah, for me, that that's huge in connection, um, where we where we are for sure that that feels good. And you're very good at doing that. And I think I'm pretty good at doing that too. Like we do that a lot.

Staying Close Across Distance

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah, you're great at that stuff, and in fact, you're great at giving me the ideas too, sometimes, because like one of the things I forget is yeah, I do those, but I forget that not everyone does that, right? And so sometimes reminding me of that is like, oh, this is kind of special. And so it is those kind of organic things that it just comes naturally. But then when you build upon it, and you talked about a second ago about you know being a beacon of joy. I think that is really key right now, that even if you're not feeling from or you're feeling like a beacon of joy, reaching out to somebody, that's huge. Like, again, you never know what kind of day someone's having. And so just reaching out and saying, hey, I was thinking about you is huge to a lot of people. And I know like every time I get those, like I was on a call yesterday and it was late in the day, and it was a it was a business call, and everyone's kind of frumpy, whatever, and they were kind of in a bad mood. And so I just started talking openly and saying, This is what I'm struggling with now. And the meeting went on for another hour and a half. It was insane, and we all opened up about things we were going through. And afterwards, I got like four thank you notes this morning on it. Like, thank you for like starting that. I really needed that. And it was totally organic. It came out of the blue and it came from a place of being vulnerable, but being honest about that. And I think that that sometimes also helps with connection because no one wants to hear, like, hey, how's your day? I get that every day. But if you say, hey, I just want to let you know I was thinking about you, it's a very different dynamic and it's something that it brings people together. It's not like I guess when you think about connection, I think about magnets, right? Like I I want to be magnetic to someone. I don't want to turn them off, right? Like I want to be that beacon, I want to be that shining light, I want to be that thing that people are drawn to and not pushed away from. And so that's kind of what is at my core, and that's what I try to do when I engage with people. And I think that you are incredible at that. I mean, the community you've built is huge, but it's also the way that even when you're going through tough times, you're honest, you're raw, and people can relate to that stuff, right? And I think that is a skill in itself. And I think when you talk about communication and community, being more real and more honest at everything you do and not being ashamed or afraid to do it really opens up the door for greater connection at different levels with new people. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Oh, it's huge, like absolutely huge. Like the opportunity to be real, be raw, be honest, be open, like massive, like massive. And it's there. Most of us are just too scared to be. So most people out there are too scared to be. Like you saying, I mean, like your your difficult year that you you've had really, I think you've been really open, honest speaking to people about it and just making it, it's out there, isn't it? It's out there. And and I think that's given you so many new connections and new relationships because of the fact that people want to um support or that vulnerability allows allows more connection, I think. That vulnerability allows people to I suppose people it lets the guard down.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

I agree. I think that's a really key point there is when because you can sense it in somebody, right? You can sense someone who is honest and earnest versus someone that you're going, they're fake, right? It's very hard to relate to someone who's very fake, and then you become fake trying to relate to them if you're in that kind of niche or click or whatever. So surround yourself with the people that you can really relate to on a level that is more human and less top level, you know, not this surface level, like go deep. Like you want to dive in that freaking pond and go deep. And I these are things that I wish I knew when I was younger because I was very consumed with moving up the corporate ladder and being like standing out, but standing out for me and not necessarily always helping everyone else along the way. And it took me a while to get there to to see that you know, part of community is being connected to people. And the more connected you are, the better off you are in life. Because one of the things that I I get so annoyed with people that say this is I'm self-made, right? No one's self-made. Yeah, I've I've done a lot of cool stuff, you've done amazing stuff. Like, but I had friends or people or someone helped me along the way. Like, think about business for a second. If you were sole person in business, okay, you still rely on someone paying you to be successful. Okay. If you are in business and not making any money, you're not in a business, all right? You can't be self-made. Humanity is connection and it's about helping each other. So there's no such thing as being self-made. You are a team, or you're you may have done a lot yourself, but you had other people help you along the way in all facets of life. And the best thing you can do is play it forward and then be as honest and earnest as possible through that process, and you'll attract even more people to it. And I think that when you and I went to the conference the first time and met, I think that's one of those things that we bonded over first. It was one of those like, he gets it, she gets it, you know, that kind of moment. It was just like boom, it was cool.

Handwritten Notes And Meaningful Tokens

SPEAKER_01 18:02

I think that when you connect, I think the other thing that that's worth acknowledging is that, like we said, there are uptimes and there are downtimes, and there are times that actually you don't agree. And I think that that for me, those moments where you do agree for sure can strengthen a connection, but also the moments that you don't agree can also help a connection because they allow you to realize the real person behind it. And that for me is like you said, no one is self-made. Actually, you connecting with me and me connecting with you, that's influenced our journeys for sure. Like I know we've influenced each other's journeys in many different ways, but we haven't always agreed. And that doesn't make it wrong. And I think that so many times when people don't agree, that sometimes that connection can be lost through potentially ego or potentially just people putting a guard up. Like I actually am grateful that we have a good relationship, a relationship that's good enough where you can say, okay, no, maybe I reflect on that and I feel differently now, or and I definitely have that space. I'm like, I reflect on that and I feel differently now because I'm in a better, I'm in a better space. Those things, those things are important for connection too. And I was just thinking about dog training, Justin, because when you're working with a dog, sometimes the connection feels a bit broken when the training goes a bit wonky and the dog doesn't do what you want them to do. Now, I know that your mum trains dogs, and I know that whilst you don't sort of actively participate in any sort of formal dog training, your mum is really connected to her dogs and loves training her dogs, doesn't she? What what does she have? Your mum, your mum loves her little dogs.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

She has two Swedish valhoons, yes, named Oscar and Pip. Hello, guys.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

And I love them, and your mum adores them, and she's quite nuts about it, isn't she? Like she's quite into her dog agility.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Yeah, I mean, she was able to find on Etsy a license plate frame that said, I love my Swedish valhoon, and there's only a few in the entire world. So, yes, that's how she she she loves her dogs very much. And they're kind of like her, they're short in stature and they're very feisty.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

What I would say for your mom is they've also given her more connection, haven't they? And they've allowed her more connection. Like she connects with people through her dogs, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Absolutely. She so the season for her actually just wrapped up. I don't know what it's like in the rest of the world, but her season of doing agility just wrapped up. And she looks forward to it every year. It's like a three-month period, and she goes to all the events and she has this whole group of people she travels with. And this year was kind of cool because she actually joined, I don't know the name of the committee, but she grew her base because she like joined this committee and she went to help set up and she found some of the properties, and it was cool. She's like grown up in that world. And so I think that through her dog, she's been able to not only meet other people, but she's made connections in her business life as a writer. And it's been a very cool journey. Just that alone. It's funny to think that through an animal, she's made a whole bunch of new human connections, which is really cool to think about.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Like amazing, amazing to think about, like so much fun. Like so much fun. And and that for me, how old is your mom, Justin?

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Uh, she is 72. 72 or 73, I have to do the math.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

In her 70s, she's out there meeting new people, traveling the world, heading all around the country, and the connection is her dogs. And so for me, I suppose I wanted to raise it that dogs are an amazing way to connect with people. And dogs also, your connection with your dog is another connection. And sometimes that connection feels a bit ropey and it feels a bit like you're losing connection. And other times the connection feels so much better. A moment that I had a few weeks ago, you would definitely not appreciate this moment, and I didn't either. One of my dogs, whilst I was out, caught a rabbit and killed it. And it was not something I've ever experienced before. I've never had a dog do anything like that before. I don't know if the rabbit was already injured or what. I've never seen her pick a rabbit up ever. But it upset the connection. It upset the connection because it was a little bit relationship damaging for me because I'd seen like a different side to her. And I'm sure that's like people as well. Like when you see a different side or when something happens, and then you have to kind of work at that connection again because something happened that you didn't really enjoy. And that is life, isn't it? Like something might happen that you you you didn't align with or you didn't sort of it didn't it didn't feel right. And that sometimes you have to work through. And sometimes that is also a moment to break a connection. But ultimately for me in this situation, it was a moment to work through, a moment to train harder, a moment to see a space to improve a gap in the in the training. What do you think?

Joybringers Vulnerability And Magnetism

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Yeah, I think that's exactly what it is because I think sometimes it's jarring. You forget they're dogs, right? That they are carnivores meant to go kill things. I remember I had a we had a pug years and years ago that I mean, pugs are not vicious, they're not known for being predators. Right. And Riley went outside and came in. And all of a sudden, I was like, why is all this fur in the house? And what is this like? Why is blood everywhere? He was eviscerating a baby bunny in the house. And I was like, oh my God, Riley. And he looked up like the happiest. He's like, look what I did, Dad. And I'm like, no. And so, kind of similar to what you experienced. I mean, it was so jarring to me because you think of this little pug with a smush face and like this little dog is always smiling. And all of a sudden, he's this vicious killer of a baby bunny. And it took me a second to kind of reconcile that and say, okay, he's a predator. He's in his actual environment. Hopefully the animal didn't suffer, but it's time that we clean this up and move forward. And I didn't really, it took me a couple hours to kind of get over that. It was pretty traumatic. I'm sure it was the same thing with you. When you see, like, it's not a homing presence, is what I would say. I mean, it's a very vicious. When they kill, it's not like they go to sleep. It's a lot of turning, a lot of snapping, a lot of things going on. And so I think that even in human nature, right? If I do something at a character, it's kind of jarring to you, right? Or if you if you do something jarring and I notice it, I'm like, that's unlike her. Sometimes we have to snap back in and remember we're human beings and we're not always going to be in that perfect mood, or we're not always going to be in that perfect mindset. I mean, sometimes you wake up, like you had mentioned, you've been sick a couple of days. That's the worst time. Like you're you're feeling vulnerable. You don't want to be around people usually. And if someone comes to you with something, you could be a little snippy. At least I know I am. And it's easy to forget that.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

You could be quite like almost evasive, or like you don't want to connect with someone. So you can like shut yourself down a little bit or shut yourself off a little bit. And that's an interesting one because when you shut yourself off a little bit, that can really, like for some people, really offend them. But actually, you might shut themselves, you shut yourself off for a different reason. A friend of mine recently, she lost her dad. And in that moment, she was very good at connecting and she connected a lot. But other people I know who've lost lost people, they can shut themselves down. So sometimes the connection is broken without you even realizing why. Or it might just be time and distance and other things. I suppose the biggest thing I want to leave everyone with, if I was thinking on top tips for connection, let's go for like a quick tip, tennis, on a few tips for connection. One, I'm gonna steal one of yours actually, is is is voice notes. I love voice notes. I love receiving a voice note, I love sending a voice note. Start someone's day off well. Like I really, I really like that. So top tip for connection one. Go on. What's one of yours, Justin?

SPEAKER_00 25:09

So I'm gonna leverage on what you're saying there, and I'm gonna say at least do one of those a day to someone new each day because I think it's fun. It keeps you in the game, and it's a great way to connect with someone you haven't connected with in a long time. So you can start with a family member at first and then grow out to people that you haven't talked to in a while, or someone maybe on Facebook or Instagram that you're kind of friends with or whatever, and you want to extend that relationship and grow it further, reach out that way. It's really fun, and especially because it's such an impersonal medium that when someone gets something personal, it's like, whoa, wait, and it's exciting. So please, like, you know, take that extra step to do that in an environment that seems foreign, I think is really cool.

Dogs As A Bridge To People

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Okay, my number two is try to, when you find yourself being easily offended, work harder on yourself. I think so often when we have a problem in some way with connection or we are concerned about someone or something in our life, or we might ask ourselves questions that sometimes aren't even relevant to the relationship, but you might like have some self-doubt, or you might have some sort of stories in your head as to what might be going on with another relationship or person or something that's in your life. If you find yourself getting easily offended, work on yourself. And I think that really helps with connection because when you're working on yourself, connection will always be easier because you're working hard on you. And I think there are so many situations, oh, I don't know, and like someone might send a short message back or a sharp message back. Rather than take offense to it, work on your response to it. And so quite often I can be short or sharp, and some people will come back and be like, Have I done something wrong? And I'm like, no, no, just working, or I'm typing whilst trying to um be on a call, or I'm just about to get in the car, or I'm gonna grab Liza, or I've got a horse and a dog in my hand. Like there was nothing about it. So if you find yourself all easily offended, take a step back, work on yourself, would be my second tip for connection. Because when you're offended, you're not easily easy to connect with. So let's work on not being offended. I think that's I love that.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Okay, so my number two is kind of similar, but it's gonna take a little bit different angle, and that is give yourself grace. Because I think a lot of the times, like you're if let's say you're having trouble connecting with somebody or you're wanting to connect and you're too shy. I know that the voice in my head is usually not necessarily a positive one. Um internally. Externally, it's always like, hey, let's do this. Internally, I'm like this little scared little boy. And I think giving yourself grace and talking to yourself in a way that says, okay, let's retry this or let's do this, or someone does do something that offends you, is go to the core of maybe why it's bothering you and realize that that probably issue isn't theirs, it's yours, and kind of work with your yourself to get through that and say, what about that situation made me uncomfortable? What about that situation made me offended? And then figure out what it is and see, you know, ask probing questions of yourself and say, is it something that they did or is it the way I interpreted it? And you keep taking it deeper and deeper and deeper until you get to the root cause where not only are you working on yourself, but you're talking to yourself in a way that gets you to know yourself better, which then when you communicate with people in the future, you understand why you react certain ways, you understand why certain actions from others impact you. So you can be more receptive and more open to it and not only be less offended, but also be better at communicating as a whole. And it will open up internally to be more raw and real at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Love it. Absolutely love it. And I think raw and real is what the world means more than anything. And then I'm gonna follow that one on and say we're in the world of like digital and and AI and all of these things. Wherever you can be really authentic, I we've we've already given the example of writing a letter, sending a personal video, sending something that actually is to that person, handwriting a card, hand making a card. I was given a the most beautiful wedding card from a friend, and it was all handmade and had like glitter on it. And it just it's the only card that's still here from from being married, because you can't keep every card, but that card really meant something. Growing someone a plant. Every time I look at the plant, it's in my eyes. And I remember that Cass made that plant or grew that plant and homegrown and or something that's in the vision of somebody. So, like I was saying to you and your your your kids, those cards will be in vision because they'll be in the house and they'll be in front of them and they are the reminders. Every time I go to my fridge upstairs, I've got um one of the little California um surfboards on my fridge, and it reminds me of coming out and visiting you guys. And it's little things like that. They're little, they're subtle, they they cost very little, but they mean so much. So those little real connections. What would your last one be, Justin?

Practical Tips And Building Community

SPEAKER_00 29:38

So I think it's gonna be probably for me the most personal because I think this this is really helpful. And that is so Travis Barker, for those that don't know, is a drummer for Blink 182. And years ago, he was feeling unhealthy and he was he was an addict to a bunch of drugs and was trying to get clean. And he's like, you know what? I love running. I want to start running group. And he posted online and he for he just forgets. I mean, it's one of the biggest bands of the world, and he posted online and he's like, no one's gonna come. And he was really afraid of it. And it was in his autobiography, that's why I know all this. Anyways, and he goes and shows up, and the first day there's like 10 people. And then the next time he goes, there's a hundred. And now it's so big they have to shut like avenues down to do it. And so uh my point out there with all of you is is to push yourself to do something. If you want to create, if you want to be communicative, create a community, right? Like a lot of the times we're reaching out to others. What if you start internally and invite others into your world, right? So, like if you're on Facebook and you want to create a Facebook community, do that. If you're a big runner, create a running group around you. Not necessarily join one, but attract the people that you want to be around and build that community around you. Because what I found in my life is that joining groups is really fun. But the times I've done it myself and created communities that have supported me or, you know, created friendships that really mean a lot. And when I've cultivated that, it's produced dividends that still pay out. So I urge all of you to go out and do something where you start building your own community. If you're a gardener, this is a dog podcast, right? If you have a certain dog breed or a certain type of dog, or you like agility, or you like tricks, or whatever, start your local community with that. And you can't believe what we'll start with. And don't be afraid. At first, you may get one person. So what? That's one person more than you had the day before, and then start building from there because community doesn't start with 10,000 people, right? It starts locally and grows. So take that leap, do something outside your comfort zone and do it. And I think it's really, I wish you all luck.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

We've missed out, which I should have like touched base on ages ago, which is where this podcast even came from. You said, God, Lauren, one of the things you guys do really well with absolute dogs is you do community really well. You do community really well, and and we connect and we have such an amazing games club. So for those of you listening, if you're not part of the games club, there is a one-pound trial. You can jump in right now. It's just a pound to jump in, which is insane. Jump in for a pound. You see how you get on. We would love you to be part of it, and it then um becomes a monthly option for you, and it's an amazing space to be. And Justin, you've experienced the community that's behind Absolute Dogs. I mean, it's absolutely awesome. The energy is insane, but also the people, like such an eclectic bunch of people, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Very, very eclectic. And I will tell you that I've even tried some of the products personally a couple of years ago. So I can tell you it's it's a it's a very fun group, it's a very dynamic group, and it's a group that's very supportive. So if you're looking for that in your life, I can't express to you more. This is a great place to do that. In fact, as I as you guys know, right now, I don't even own a dog. I used to own two, but going through this divorce and everything else has kind of broken that all up. I will tell you, it's a community that I enjoy being part of. And so I urge you all to join. There's a killer deal, and it's really a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

So, Justin, thank you for joining me. As always, it's been amazing fun. I love staying connected. Let's do this again, right?

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Right oh, cheerio, absolutely, Lauren.