Welcome And The Mindset Lens

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So that's a huge thing with mindset is to focus on a lot of the little wins throughout the process because you can build on wins, but you can't build you can reflect on failures, but you can't build on a failure.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome to the Absolute Dog Sex in a Squirrel podcast. I'm Lauren Langman. I'm one of the world's leading dog trainers, and it's my mission to help owners become their dog's top priority. In each episode, you'll discover how to gain trust and communicate with your dog like never before, creating unbreakable bonds that make you the most exciting part of their world. Now, today I'm joined by a wonderful colleague and friend of mine, someone who I absolutely admire in so many ways, a wonderful Dan. And Dan, I know that today we're going to be talking about having the right mindset in our dog training. And I also know what a massive difference that makes. So welcome, welcome, welcome. It is amazing to see you.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Thank you very much. Very excited to be here and part of the squirrel team.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Now, Dan, you I know you adore dogs, and I know you absolutely love mindset, love human coaching, love working with improving our mindset. I know that we have some great conversations about how this can impact not only us but everyone around us. Now, when we think about training our dogs and we think about training generally, let's talk mindset here because we know that how our mindset is going into each and every day is going to have an impact not only on our dogs, but actually our friends, our family, everyone around us. Where do we start? Like, where do we start? Because it's it's mega, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

It is. And I think I think the fact that it is, as you say, mega, it can sometimes be a little bit overwhelming, and people get this paralysis from analysis, right? Rather than actually taking action and get caught up in the how to get it right, how to get it perfect. And you know, you see this play out all the time to try to get the perfect business model or try to get the perfect diet or try to get the perfect

Small Habits Keep You On Track

SPEAKER_00 2:00

exercise, or you know, in relationships, maybe it's the perfect weekend away instead of doing all the little things, right? So I would say the most important part is developing good habits, little little habits every day that keep course correcting you. Think of it like this, right? Mindset's kind of like setting out on a journey in a boat or an aeroplane. And if you start to go off course, you make little adjustments continuously rather than flying off course for a long way and then going, oh, I need to bring it back. Now, every now and then there might be a moment where you have to do a major thing, but really it's about standing guard at the door of your mind and making sure that those thoughts are the thoughts you want to have, not the thoughts of a previous conditioning, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Oh, that's just brilliant because I love the idea of standing guard at the door of your mind. Because I think sometimes we allow things into our mind that really are not necessary and probably aren't welcome. And for me, that might be I can I can think of the relationship that I had when I was probably, I don't know, late teens, early twenties, and a friend. And every time I was spending time with that friend, I would find myself gossiping and maybe being a bit bitchy and maybe being a little bit sort of catty and like just finding problems, like finding problems. And the more time I spent with them, the more I would do that. And interestingly, um, my mum commented one day, she said, um, because we'd been over there for lunch, and she'd said, Lauren, you do know that like you're very different when you're hanging around with them. Like you do, you do realize that. And I took a step back and I was like partially offended. I think you know, when you're easily offended, you need to get working on yourself a bit harder. Um, because I do feel like whenever I'm finding myself easily offended, I realize I'm lacking in my own personal coaching, and I probably need to coach myself beyond that because that that for me is a really good reminder whenever I find that moment of being offended. And my mum, I know she would have the best intentions. She would not, I think the love that you have between parents and children, and I know she would have the best intentions for me. And so I took a step back step back and I thought about it, and I was like, Yeah, I do. Like I and and I started to notice it more, you know, when something was like subconscious and then suddenly it's conscious and you're awake, awake to it. I was like, Yeah, I'm I'm I'm bitchy, like I'm being really and this was early teens, so sorry, late teens, early 20s. And I decided to just minimize my my sort of social time with that person, and you know what? It completely stopped. Like, I I didn't, I I it it went, like it went. And I yes, I spent less time with that person, but that part of me came out more when I was in that space. And so I think when you said God, like be it be it the what was your line? You said like be it.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Stand guard at the door of your own mind.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, so stand guard at the door of your own mind. Like for me, that was a moment of realizing that you can have that sort of guard there, that you you don't have to accept everything, and you don't have to have that person in your life, and you don't have to have that negative impact because and and this might be a friend, uh a lover, a long-lost lover, a mother, sister, brother, but you don't have to accept that. At least you don't have to accept that all the time, right? Like so you can minimize your your their their impact. Because I do think sometimes it's not just what we are doing for ourselves, but it's also all of our surrounding, I suppose, our diet, our ecosystem, isn't it? Is everything and when I say diet, I don't mean our food, I mean everybody that has an impact on us and everybody we spend consuming.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Well, there's about a dozen things just in that one thing I'd love to pull apart. So proximity

Proximity Shapes Behaviour And Belief

SPEAKER_00 5:30

is power. Very choose wisely who you spend time with. And I'll I'll couple this all back into mindset, as be that's being the theme. When you're around people who behave and act a certain way, you'll adopt it. It's just our natural state, right? So if you want to lose weight and be fit, you better pick some people who have already lost weight and are fit. If you hang out with a bunch of people that are out of shape, they're all going to be sharing the same kind of story and you can be part of that. But as soon as someone comes up with an excuse not to take action, there's going to be a lot of agreeable people and they they wouldn't have already developed strategies. All right. If you hang around people who already have the habits and strategies, you're going to start emulating that and taking it on board. So even before you get to the stage of, you know, you're talking about these friendships that can turn bad. And and and just on that, I also want to point out sometimes it's neither of you, it's how you are together. Agreed. And you set up a pattern, and then for whatever reason, you just are like that. Now, I can give you an example on the other side of it. My cousin and I, he's like my little brother, I love him to bits. And when we're together, we revert back to just being kids. We act like little kids, and it's hilarious. And every time he rings, you never answer just hello. It's always some witty line or something stupid, and the first couple minutes of the conversation are in alter egos. And that's the dynamic, right? And over time, we've been able to advance the conversation into different areas in life and relationships and business and family and stuff like that. But I, you know, I'm 45 this year, and every time I talk to him, it just goes back to being young, stupid boys, right? So you can break that cycle, but you have to confront it. You have to, you know, kind of name the situation and go, this is what's going on, and we need to sort it out because the pattern will continue. If that pattern continues after that, then you know that that's a person you don't want to spend time with. And as harsh as this sounds, right, you can spend a lot of time trying to bring people up. But if that donkey doesn't want to drink, then just minimize your time. You don't have to say the person might your friend anymore. But if you're trying to get somewhere and you're dragging that person with you, it's going to be a slow, hard journey. Invite them on the journey. And if they don't want to come, don't force them. And if one day they say, Hey, Lauren, Dan, I want to be where you're at, you say, Cool, jump on board the train, let's go. Right? So the door is open to people who you're friends with. You're not, you're not just saying, you know, you're toxic and I'm going to cut you out of my life and all this kind of stuff. You can be an adult about it and say, you know what, this is where I'm heading, and this is where you're going, you know, in your own conversation, and don't walk up to someone and say, hey, we're going different directions. It may not go the way you want it. And then you just go about what you're doing because not everyone's going to want to march to the beat of the drum that you're on, right? So you have to pick a path. Now, in terms of mindset, it's really, really important to develop a strong mindset in knowing where you're actually going, right? So it's very easy to identify things you don't like that's going on. So you know a relationship as you said with someone and it's not going well. Well, it's very easy to say, you know what, I don't want this anymore. But what's even more important is to say, I do want this, because what you see a lot of the time is people jump out of one relationship or pattern and they just do the same thing with the next group. I think it's over and over again.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

I mean, we talk about this a lot in dog training. What do you want? We understand what you don't want. You don't want your dog jumping up, you don't want your dog running off, you don't want your dog chasing raccoons, you don't want your dog hounding the local postman, you don't want your dog doing this, this, and this. But what do you want? And I would say the same with relationships, mindset, people, and all of what you say. It's so funny. What you said, something there you were saying about you're just not gonna spend time or extra time. It just reminded me of a line, and I had to say it to our listeners because I think this is I watched a great movie recently called The Peanut Butter Falcon. I don't know if you've seen it. I would definitely say it's worth watching. I watched it with Eliza, so it was appropriate for her age, and it was just great. He had this one line in there, and he he basically he said, You are not invited to my birthday party. And that for me is just like one of those moments, right? Where you are not invited to my birthday party. And if you're not invited to my birthday party, then that's not cool, right? Like, like literally, you are not cool. And it was just a great line, and you have to watch it if you haven't watched it, really great, just brilliant, a little bit indie, a little bit different, a little bit alternative. But I loved it. Real like tearjerker at the end, but happy to. And so yeah, it was just that line. And I think it is sometimes, and I'm thinking dog training here, Dan, you hang around with a lot of different communities when you dog train. And this is one thing that I've really noticed, especially over the last year, is that sometimes your friends like they're your friends if you're winning, or they're your friends if they're losing, or you're losing, but they're not your friends at the right time sometimes. And I think that's really important to acknowledge because when you're winning, who is cheering you on when you're winning? Right? Who is really cheering you on when you're winning? And when you're in a competitive sport or when you're in dog training, and and there's a lot of people that will compare themselves to you, and and we all know that comparison is definitely the thief of joy. Like for me, when people start comparing and getting all like, yeah, just a little bit edgy with each other. But I've really noticed in in dog sports and dog training that there can be this funny space where people are sort of nice in one way, but like secretly maybe it doesn't feel so good. And I think it's important to acknowledge that mindset and your dog training is everything. Who you're training with is really important, who you're surrounding yourself with is really important. And actually, who's cheering you on when you're doing well, not just when you're not doing well? Because a lot of people I will see cheering like the underdog, but suddenly when they're doing better, they don't want to cheer them then, and equally vice

Competing Hard Without Making It Personal

SPEAKER_01 11:15

versa as well. I've I've seen both. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

So there's a level of maturity that has to be adopted in any competition, all right. And some people want to always be friends and keep everything amicable and balanced and stuff like that. And then people who compete, like truly compete at a high level, they're okay with not being friends on the day. And this is the hard thing. Like, I've explained this to my wife who have a martial arts background. Said I can sparse someone, like get in the ring, and we can try and take each other's head off. And then at the end, you give each other a hug and go, great effort. And for a lot of people, they look at that and go, that's very odd behavior. How can you how can you do that, but then be cool? Because it's nothing personal, right? You separate your emotional brain from your logic brain, right? And your emotional brain is very conflicted, always is, okay. It, you know, I was laughing the other day because someone said, you know, in one sentence they said the early bird gets the worm, and then later on, not the same sentence, but the same conversation, and later on they said the second mouse gets the cheese. I was like, hang on, which one is it? They're like, what? I'm like, is it the early bird or the second mouse? That's both. So wow, you're gonna have a fun day, aren't you? Because part of your brain thinks you need to be first, and the other one thinks you need to wait until someone else goes through the path first. So our brains are like this, right? They're all over the shop. Now, when it comes time to compete in something, I believe that rising tides lift all boats. And if you build a community that supports everyone, and the idea is to build up the sport, build up the competitiveness, and drive each other to achieve levels that haven't been done before, there is only winners. Okay. Now, ultimately only day there's only one person that takes the gold. But I like to I love to look at relationships like Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. Sorry, Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. Okay. So Magic Johnson and Larry Byrd played against each other in the NBA, but in the offseason, they trained with each other, even though they're on opposite teams. And the idea was to sharpen their saw or their sword or whatever analogy you want to use against the other sharpest one, because they could only get better. And that's how they get to the next level is they're not afraid of mixing it up with the best. Now you see this in martial arts and mixed martial arts and boxing and all that kind of stuff. People who are at the top want to be around other people at the top, and then one day they might have to meet in the ring and there's bad blood and all that kind of stuff. But you know what? If you're going to compete at the highest level, you just have to go, well, some sometimes we're going to step on other people's toes. And if it's not your intent, if you carry yourself in a good way and you're always just upfront about who you are and own it, it's never really an issue, right? It just doesn't become an issue. So I I truly believe that for a society to flourish, everyone should be trying to achieve that high level, and everyone should be backing each other to achieve the high level, right? And if you're not part of that pool, then just stay out of the way.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I absolutely wholeheartedly agree. And I love rising tide. Like, I love that. I think absolutely fantastic. So if we were to think about some mindset general tips, Dan, I love that you said like like sort of little little habits and little like daily, daily things that you're doing. What could we share with our listeners that might give them an insight into things that we could be doing on a day-to-day basis to help improve our mindset, especially

One Clear Outcome Per Session

SPEAKER_01 14:55

knowing that lots of our community obviously working around dogs in lots of different capacities and there can be a lot of stretch, strain, day-to-day stresses. What are the things that we could be doing be doing? Little habits, little tips for mindset.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Well, I love this. So whether you're dog training, a coach, training yourself, all that kind of stuff, have a very clear intent, like an outcome of what it is you're looking to achieve in that specific session. Okay. If you go into it and anything and you're trying to achieve 50 things, it's very hard to measure and know where you're at. Okay. But if you have a set outcome of what it is you're looking to achieve, now I pulled a kid up at the gym, resume jujitsu, a couple of years back, and he's like flailing around. He goes, Oh, my training's not going anywhere. And I said to him, What is your outcome for this session? He goes, What do you mean? I said, You turn up, what are you looking to achieve from this session? He goes, Oh, just just train. So that's why you lost, mate. Because you you're not working on anything other than just working, right? So it's like reading a book, right? Or a DVD collection or online training or something, and you get even this podcast, you pick up 50 great insights and you shelf them, and that's why they call it shelf help instead of self-help because the book goes back on the shelf. It is useless to have 50 great points of insight and execute none. You're better off having one and executing it. So it doesn't matter if it's a dog training session or whatever it is, be very clear about what the outcome is. So if you've got a dog and you want to train it to sit, right? Nail that. Right. And then as you develop the skill sets, you'll be able to incorporate a whole bunch. But if you think of it like a really simple term, like you're trying to play a guitar or a piano or something, you don't get the full music sheet and try to play the whole lot in one hit. You always learn the notes because they're the fundamental parts, and you'll focus on learning them, and then you'll learn them in combination, and then you learn them in different combinations, and then you start playing music. All right. So whenever you're trying or in the endeavor of pursuing for betterment, right, to develop yourself, have a mindset of breaking it down into chunks, all right. So it's the the other metaphor of how does a how do you eat an elephant? It's one bite at a time. If you look at the whole thing, it's too much. Actually, let me share with you. So I created this analogy years ago about Lego, and I love sharing it because everyone's seen Lego, they'll play with Lego at some stage in their life. Now, if the full picture, right, on the box is the outcome, that's the desired outcome is to create that, and then you're like, cool, that's what I want, and then you open the box and you tip out all the pieces on the table, right? And this is how people metaphorically look at life. They see all the pieces and then they see where that wants to go to, and they go, Oh, how the hell do I turn that pile of pieces into that? And it's really simple because Lego and their infinite wisdom, they created these pull-out instructions, and it's step one, step two, step three, step four. And as long as you follow that sequence, you will get to that outcome. All right. But if you get impatient, if you don't check you've got the right size piece, and you start to jump ahead and you don't look at the instructions, you'll get lost. But once you once you learn that there's just a sequence and flow, all right, then you can do it. So the philosophy is to trust the process. So a mindset you can adopt is understanding that everything is achievable, you just need to break it down to small enough components that you can bite, swallow, and digest. Okay. So knowing what the outcome for that session is, because if there's 50 things you're trying to teach dog and you're more confused than the dog, the dog's never going to learn. So be really clear on what it is you're going there to do. Now, Lauren, you you're you're the expert in dog training here. In a session, okay, when you're developing skills in a new dog, how many different skills would you teach them in one session?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

It's so funny. I'm literally writing down as we speak. I'm like, there are so many things that I want to incorporate into something I'm teaching at the weekend from what you're saying. If I was in a dog training session with my dogs, like like I'm just writing down there, like outcome, Lego, fresh dog, fresh, fresh new dog.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

This is a brand new dog. How many things do you teach it?

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Very basic. One, probably.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

One. Until you nail it. So so, and this is the bit I want everyone who's listening to get. Okay. Yes, emulate the people at the top of the game. Yes, understand what they do to be at that, but understand what they did at the beginning of the journey to get them there. Because Mozart on the piano, right, didn't start day one like that. It was ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, right, they go through the process of understanding how it all sounds and works together. Now, to train your dog, you only when they're fresh and new, you want to give them one skill. You only want to give you one skill, too. Because once you've nailed the skill of reading the dog, understanding the cues, rewarding the dog at the right time, and that works with every animal. If you reward them at the wrong time, it doesn't help, right? Same with discipline. Like if if you know, if I got I got three kids, if they do something wrong in that moment, I need to pull them up. If I leave it a week later, it's lost on them. They're like, What?

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Yeah, with an adult, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

What do you that's like a lifetime ago? With an adult, you can catch up with someone a week later and say, Hey mate, you know, tell you what, really wasn't happy with what got went on. They're like, Yeah, you know what? I kind of felt bad about it. Trying to get where you come from, have a hug. It's all good. Kids are like, What? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Like, I love the way you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Yeah, and they'll they indulge in it too sometimes if they if they know a little bit, like, I don't know what you're talking about. But dogs, you know, if you left it a week to reward or discipline a dog for an action, it's useless. So the timing's important. So what I'm getting at is that if you're trying to learn a skill yourself, then just focus on that one, and within that, you develop it. So the mindset that I'm wanting to instill in this part of the conversation is understanding that it's about doing the little things consistent and well that develops the base for you to go to wherever you want, right? It's the Lego steps. Now, if we transferred that to any aspect of life, and I'll give you an example. I've had plenty of clients over the years who say to me, Dan, I really want to get in shape, I want to work out, I want to lift weights, I want to do this, I want to start running, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

That's me. I'm all in.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Here's your program.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

That's me.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Here's your program. You're gonna walk. Is that achievable? And everyone goes, Yeah, yeah, because I'm gonna I'm gonna lift weights and do yoga, and I'm gonna ride a bike and you know, I'm gonna astrophot. On horses or whatever. So they they list all these great things they're going to do. I say, so can you walk every day? And they're like, it's not even a thing. So one of the guys lives in northern England and he's boasting about easy piece of cake. And this is October one year, right? November rolled around, and some storm came through, which was freezing cold, and the temperature plummeted. And he said, he goes, he cursed and cursed and cursed me because he'd given his word he was going to do it, and it all sounded so easy. The difficult thing isn't the exercise, the difficult thing is getting your ass out the door and started. Same with any habit. Okay. Make it achievable, make it small, and do it consistently. Okay. But the mindset has to be not focused always on the whole picture, but focused on the very next step. What's my next step? Right? The Lego thing. Just keep doing each step through the process and you'll always end up with greatness. But if you keep going, I'm so far from that end thing, it's not worth starting. It's hopeless, it's useless. You never get on the path, and the Lego never gets built.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Well, I'm I'm training a dog right now to do something new. And when you first start, that first step is quite tough. And I'm training something that's really fun, it's really fast, it's really motivating. But the first step isn't sexy, and neither's the second or the third. But once you get to like the 10th, 11th, 12th, it's really sexy. Like it gets like right, I love doing that. Like you get like a big buzz from doing it. And it's the same with exercise, isn't it? It doesn't start out sexy. Like no one starts out sort of like doing their walk and wanting to lose seven or eight kilos or 70 or 80 kilos. Like it doesn't really matter like what scale it's at. It doesn't start sexy. And you get that little hit or you get that little result. And like I'm still buzzing from my session this morning. Like I'm buzzing. I came in like, yes, I loved it. And I said to you, I'm running, I'm coming. And my session was with training, training one of my dogs. But I loved it. But I'm at like the end stages of the behavior. So I'm at the stages where you're perfecting and you're tweaking and you're doing all the sexy stuff. They're starting, they're getting out walking, they're getting on the bike, they're getting on the runner, they're picking up the first weight. Or those aren't the sexy bits, right? Dan. And those are the bits that you kind of need that win when you do it, or you need that little like nudge of someone saying, I can give you an example. I was on the exercise bike. You would love Sam. She is a great, great trainer. She's one of our team and she's amazing. And I was on the bike upstairs, and it was my first session back, and I hadn't done any for a good few months. And she didn't know I was up there. I don't know how she was up there. She must have heard it or something. Anyway, she comes running up and she just gives me a massive high five. And then she runs back downstairs and she's got the biggest grin on her face. And you know what? That lights you up, doesn't it? It's that little action, but it's that it's that moment that you've everyone needs a bit of progress. Everyone needs to feel like they're winning sometimes. Everyone needs to feel like they've made a positive step in the right direction. And sometimes I think for mindset, it's just that little boost you need, that little step on the ladder, like you're going somewhere with it, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:55

And that's so if you and again, I'm very metaphorical team, so just just understand that I tell a lot of stories because it gives everyone an insight that they're gonna get some buy-in

Build Confidence By Tracking Wins

SPEAKER_00 25:10

and relatedness. Because if you if content doesn't relate in your life, then you know the the wisdom's lost. So think of this, right? If you invested a million dollars and you made another million, so you got two million dollars, right? And then you lost five hundred thousand dollars and you're at 1.5 million. Studies have shown that people are more depressed when they lose and get to 1.5 million than what they were at a million.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

It's crazy, isn't it? I mean, God.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

What's even worse? What's even worse is they'll find someone in a Western affluent country, right? And they built up from say $100,000 income to a $200,000 income, and then for whatever reason they got laid off and they went back to say $150,000 income. They show on average way less happiness than someone in a developing nation that went from $2 an hour to $2.50 an hour. All right. Still on a scale completely poor, and the person making $150,000 a year is shattered and oppressed and frustrated and annoyed and angry and all these things, and this other person who's making an extra few dollars a week is elated. All right. What we always stuff up on as humans is understanding the context in which we live in and understanding that we have to experience a sense of growth and moving forward throughout a life. It doesn't matter where you start, it matters that you feel like you're moving along a spectrum. Okay. Now, where people go wrong is they think if they jump forward and then they come back, even if they're further down the road than what they were, they're focusing on the bit they fell behind on, not the fact that they're still in front. Okay, and this is a huge mindset thing because if you want to enjoy the path to wherever you're going, you have to look at all the wins you're having versus focusing on the few things that set you back. All right. And this happens over and over and over again. And for me in coaching, I'm always you know holding up a mirror to people to say, hey, listen, you've just scored all these, and they're sitting over here on this board, you know, in the background, and you focused right here on this one little thing that you stuffed up, and right there is this tally board in the background that you won't even look at because you're too busy looking at the things you got wrong. The ex like in literal fact, everything's the same, but the experience is completely different because where you focus. And if you focus on the things that you fall short on versus all the things you do, fantastic, your experience of life's going to be a pretty crappy one. All right. So that's a huge thing with mindset is to focus on a lot of the little wins throughout the process because you can build on wins, but you can't build, you can reflect on failures, but you can't build on a failure.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Mega, like absolutely mega. And I I can give an example of this. When we first first started out a good few years ago, Matt and I, we had this app called Dog Tracker, and it was going to track like performances and and how you did in your sport, and it was just too, it was too soon, it was too before its time. It was it was out like before it was ready to be out, if that makes sense. And we spent a lot of money on it, and as a team, we invested in it, and it didn't work, right? It didn't work, but you know what? We met some really cool people through doing it. We met some really great web design and design generally, and we met some cool people through doing it. We made some cool links, like really cool links. Anyway, absolute dogs kind of took off a year or so later, really like started to take off. And I think partly through some of the relationships we made. Now, whilst we lost a lot of money in in Dog Tracker, actually, my learning was flipping how we met some cool people and and the ride was really good and the learning was really good. But my dad, or my dad, he'll still say it now. I can't believe you lost all that through doing that. He'll still remember the failure and he'll he'll bring you back to the failure and he'll make you he'll make you like own the failure. He'll be like, you need to own the failure. And I mean, my dad's a great guy, he's got so many great things, but he is a real scarcity mindset, and he'll like to remind you of the failure, he'll like to bring you back to the failure so you don't go making it again. And I would say I would try and make it again because I just feel like it hit at the wrong, it hit at the wrong time to the wrong audience. But it wasn't like I I feel like you should still try, and I feel like you should still we we just didn't quite get it right, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna get it right next time. And I really believe there are so many people out there that need to hear that that just because you didn't get it right once doesn't mean you're not gonna get it right next time, and doesn't mean that like I've tried so many things and I've fallen and I've stumbled and I've got it wrong, and yet I'll get back up and I'll try it again and I'll try it again like differently. And and for me, that's in competition massive. Like you'll you'll be fighting really hard to win, and yet you're not gonna win every time because someone will

Fail Fast And Ignore Social Media Myths

SPEAKER_01 30:10

beat you or someone will have something better. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try again. And I think that for me was just a moment to say that that yeah, you you will you will fall down and you will get it wrong, but you should get back up again and go again.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

This highlights you know my point about the logic brain versus the emotional brain. The emotional brain somehow convinces the general public that you can get something right the first go. When that doesn't happen, you know, and if it does, it's a fluke, and everyone knows it's a fluke. It's the old 10-year overnight success story. It's like no one became the best in the world overnight just trying something once, right? No baby just stands up one day and walks without crawling or moving, like I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Sorry, I said I did, no, I didn't, no, I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

So, you know, it's there is no start at level nine. There it is none, and so and what's really dumb, and I I don't and I mean that word pointed, like it's it's just dumb for anyone to expect to start at a high level at anything. There's some anomalies out there, like if you get someone who was a high-level uh say does judo, and then they went into jujitsu, and they're two wrestling sports, so there's a lot of crossover, or you get someone who was a lifetime reigning horse rider, and then they changed over to you know polo horse riding, you know, they're already comfortable on the horse, they've developed a big skill set, and there's a lot of things that'll transfer, but they don't become the world champion the new discipline straight away. You know, even when Lance Armstrong went to running afterwards, he's a good runner, he's a fit guy, but he's not competitive at running, right? And then sometimes people will change from, say, you know, a football to boxing, or they'll shop the Michael Jordan from basketball to baseball, but he wasn't in like he wasn't a star player, but he's such a good athlete, right? But the thing is that we saw him come out and play, he would have put in thousands and thousands of hours of practice in private, so that in public he looks good. And this is the this is the thing that kind of pisses me off a lot about social media, is that it's all about the glory and everything looks fantastic and la-di-da. And at the end of the day, it's a bunch of filters and and nonsense because everyone wants to portray this dream, this ideological lie, you know. Maybe having a hard time articulating because I'm getting in the uh the emotional part of my brain, because it just pisses me off the kids, right? Because they actually buy into this story that's this is somehow real, that all these girls are this gorgeous and their bodies are this firm, you know, and I see these influencers of 20 years old talking about hey, you know, how to after you've had kids, how to bounce back into shape and stuff like that. I'm like, yeah, great, you're 20. When I was 20, I could eat, you know, I could go out drinking, eat cake, and have a six-pack. Like, what who cares? Like, good on you, you're 20. Show me that, you know, at 50. Then I'm impressed. You know, so this perpetuation and this kind of Hollywood idea of you just do a montage and then you're there. Okay, fail fast. We're all gonna fail. Get out there, have a crack, get amongst it, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. And every time it's like shooting arrows, shooting arrows, shooting arrows. You're just gonna miss, miss, miss, miss, and then you're gonna hit and you go, ooh, hey, I've got that one. And you're excited, and you hit and you hit and you hit. And the people you want to have in your corner are the ones that say, Well done, you hit it, keep shooting, keep shooting, keep you hit it, keep shooting. That's it. Not why do you even bother? You've already missed 20 shots. Why do you keep shooting? You know, it's a waste of time, it's a waste of energy. Anyone like that, you you just excuse me, I'm busy. All right, get amongst what you're doing. And it's so annoying because you're just not gonna be the master on day one. You have to put in effort consistently to get good at anything. It doesn't matter if it's your relationship with your partner, your kids, your business, your body, everything. It's consistent actions moving forward. And so forget about the Hollywood stuff. It's just just it's boring in that it's simple. But as Lauren said, there's a point where it goes from being this idea to a thought process. And I liken it to driving a car. I'm assuming most people listening to this have probably driven a car. When you first drive a car, you're thinking indicators and oh, you you know, knock the wipers on and you're changing gears, and you're looking for traffic and stop signs, and there's a million things that are consciously going on in your brain, and in that state, there's so much information you're trying to deal with that's in a in a conscious level that you you're always under some level of stress and uncertainty. After you repetition it enough times, it becomes part of your body. All right, it's it's built into you now, so much so that I bet that everyone who drives a car has jumped in and started driving to a place they go regularly, and on the way there, they've gone, I know I don't want to go to work, I don't want to go to school, I'm going to the shops, but they've autopiloted there, they're on the phone, listening to music, you know, hitting indicators, changing lanes, and all of it is done on autopilot, and that's that flow state you hit. Now that that's the sexy part, right? And anything you're learning when you hit that groove, and everything just kind of goes. But if you don't is that if you don't go through that first part, that flow, that flow space.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

It's when you're in that flow space, like that's a different, you're right, you hit the groove and it feels just great, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Yeah. Even if it's like learning a dance, right? The first few steps, you're like, oh, out of time, and you're watching other people, and like at like dancing at weddings. And I was at a wedding last year in America, and they're all doing this dance, and I've never even seen it before, and I was like, What the hell? And then you stand there and you look awkward for about four or five times, and then you you catch on, and then

Repetition Creates The Flow State

SPEAKER_00 36:40

you're in the beat, and you go, I'm dancing. You know, but you need to be willing to be the fool that misses the beat five or six times until you catch it, and then it's fun, all right. But fail fast, get out of the way. It's understand that it's part of the process that that this one hit home run rubbish is for movies and Hollywood and Instagram. It's not real, just just do the work.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Yeah, and and I think I think that is a a big thing, isn't it? It is do the work. I think do the work is a really great, great space. And I think loads of people don't want to do the work because at the end of the day, I was I was doing it yesterday with a with a an exercise bike and some weights. It feels like hard work, right? Like it feels like hard work. And lovely lady, I'm I've got a podcast with her at some point, she's called Amy, and she's like, let's go, let's go, let's go. And I'm like, it hurts, it's painful, it sucks, it doesn't feel good. And it's so easy to put off a walk in the rain, or like you said, with your friend up north, it's so easy to put off an exercise session when it feels like cold or like miserable. I was watching Matt this morning. He took his um trousers off to this, probably it's not an X-rated conversation for the for the podcast. He was taking his trousers off for getting on the Peloton to so he could have his shorts on. And we're in Britain and it is cold, and you can see him going, oh, like it feels like effort, doesn't he? Doesn't it? And he got on the scales and he's over what he wants to be, and he's like it does feel like effort, but we've got to keep getting up and keep trying, right? And I think, like you said, it you're not gonna get in that flow space without those first stages, and those first stages are not what you see on Instagram, right?

SPEAKER_00 38:16

So here's the thing people don't want to hear this, but it's a choice, okay? Middle of England, freezing cold, there's a puddle, you're walking along with kids. What do the kids want to do?

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Jump in everywhere freaking puddle and then cover themselves in it and then race around, squeal, and they just love it, don't they?

SPEAKER_00 38:38

And they love it. Why do they love it? Because they're not focused on all the problems in life that go with it, they're just enjoying it. And we as adults tell them how wrong they are. Yeah, okay. Here's another one you you start a relationship with someone, okay? You'll talk

Choose Your Focus In Real Life

SPEAKER_00 38:55

to them till three o'clock in the morning, you know, they get a message from them, and you're all excited, and you stay up late, and you get up early, and you're full of life and enthusiasm and stuff like that, and then five or ten years later, they get a message from them, and you just read the message, and it's all just blah, blah, blah. Same person, same relationship. Our experience changes because we focus on different things, but you get to choose that, all right. As corny as it sounds, I'm still excited about my wife after being together 16 years. All right. I'm like a bloody schoolboy. Like I see her and I'm excited. I love it a bit, and I think she's gorgeous and and all that fun stuff. And I don't expect her to look at me that way, you know, she's an artist, she kind of gets distracted in her art. But for me, I I don't let go of that part of me that was excited to be in a relationship with her 16 years ago, and I often reflect on that, and I keep bringing that part of the relationship back in because otherwise I'll focus on you know, there's no laundry can get clean, or why's the house a mess with other kids running around like idiots and whatever it might be, you know?

SPEAKER_01 40:11

Brilliant um reminder, Dan. So just to recap that, it is like what are you focusing on? And actually, you're actively bringing your focus back because I'll give an example. My dad's been very poorly with terminal cancer, and he's got his journey. And for us, even watching that journey is is hard. And also, you know that he's going through that journey. What you focus on is mega, right? Like I could leave him and then I could carry on focusing on that all day long. And you could, right? Like you could leave and focus on that all day long, but it doesn't help him, it doesn't help me, it doesn't help my family, it doesn't help my mum, it doesn't help anyone around us. And you like you just said, whether it's your wife or whether it's your husband or whether it's your dog or whether it's your training partner, what you choose to focus on is really important, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 40:53

And sometimes we can take ourselves in a circle of just to interject, it's not really important, it's imperative.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

You know, it's it's not just a good idea. What you choose to focus on is your experience of life.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Mega.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

And here's and here's the thing. I was I was talking to a friend the other day, and we're talking about modern therapy and how the school looks at situations and how the government looks at situations, and they talk about oh, this event happened to this person, therefore they must have all these issues. I said, I said, Well, that's rubbish. She looked at me like, what the hell are you talking about? She's in the education system, but system, and she's uh the head of a department, very smart woman, very, very smart, and very loving and caring about making sure the students and the teaching body are all well looked after. But she's also very smart that when someone challenges something that she believes to be the norm, she doesn't dick her heels in, she just went, Oh, okay, what what do you mean? And I said, Two people have the same experience. Do they have the same story to tell about it? She goes, Well, no. I said, if two people had an abusive dad who was an alcoholic, does that mean they're going to be both abusers and alcoholics? She goes, No. So it could mean that one is, could mean the other's totally opposite, could mean they're both totally opposite. Because we get caught up in a society that what happens along the path in our lives, we think it happens to us, it just happens. It just is not about us, it's just that narcissistic tendency as humans to go, why is this always happening to me? Just happens. Life happens. Some some of it's shit, right, and sucks, and some of it's fantastic. Have a really bad memory for the crap and a great memory for the good. All right. And I and I realized I somehow developed that as a kid. I have a really hard time remembering all the bad things. And I'd say that happened because when I was a kid, when bad stuff would happen, I wanted to block it out. All right, so you just develop a better focus. Now, if you think of this is a great Tony Robbins saying, I love and I love it. He says, if you keep doing what you did in the beginning of the relationship, there'll never be an end to the relationship. And there's it's absolute genius because when you're at the beginning of the relationship, you're appreciative of the thoughtful things, the little things, you're excited to see them.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Like the songs, you can hear the songs, and everything's like springy and bouncy, and you're like holding hands, and like, and that's kind of the relationship that someone has with their dog, or like everyone's like it's like a puppy and it's new and it's all exciting, and it's all like I know you've you've had a dog, like it's it's it's all relationships. It's the same with like a baby, or and definitely with your partner. It's it is it's it has its own song, doesn't it? It has its own like sound, it has its own feel, it has its own pheromone smell, like everything. Like you can, you can you can take yourself back there, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:58

And you can be there as much as you want. Or you can find all the false. Now, let's think about this how it correlates into being a dog trainer and training dogs, right? So you have something more specific. Now, if you want to be successful and happy, because you can be happy and not successful, you can be successful and not happy, and both of them to me don't really sound great, right? Because you can have a happy relationship, which just means it goes along, but a successful one means it's dialed in, it's tuned up, like you're going places and it feels good. Same with the business. You can be happy in business, which what does that mean? You're paying the bills, right? Can't complain, everything's okay, you know, happy enough, all this kind of stuff. Or you can be successful to the point where when you decide to have a family reunion, you can go, you know what, let's all go for a holiday to this resort in Spain or wherever the hell you want to go, you know what I mean? Because you have a certain level of success. Now, in order to have that combination, you need to have a clear outcome of where it is you're going, and you have to have steps that support you along the way where you can actually see that you're growing. So when you're embarking in this journey, and you know, for your team out there that are all you know to training dogs, you want to find ways to remind you of why it is you do this and the passion, other than loving just being with dogs. I get the whole dog thing, right? I I dogs, there's something unique about dog. My mother-in-law loves horses, and I get that people love horses, and there's this whole horse culture, but I'm a dog person, right? I really do love dogs. I have photos of me sleeping on my dog as a kid growing up, right? And I've some of the saddest days of my life have been when I've dug the hole to bury my own dog. They're all buried on our property. And you know, I flew home from living in Brisbane to come home to be there to bury my dog ahead as a teenager. It was very sad. One good family friend's wife died, and then a year later his dog died. He said, You know what, Dan? He goes, losing Bessie's wife, he said, that was hard. But when the dog died, he lost all the connection from that period because he channeled all the love and all the memories and stuff into the dog. And the great thing about a dog, right, and this is what we can learn as humans, is if you go out the door for five minutes, when you come back, that dog's like you're back, they're all excited. If you adopted a little bit of that, your journey through whatever you do, dog training, life relationships, is going to be a pleasurable one because the dog's already figured out the secret to happiness. It's just appreciative that you're back, and then it comes up to you and want to add something.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

When you said the dog's always already figured out the key to happiness, and I think when I think about what that's about, the dog is happy in the moment, the dog isn't thinking about the future typically. They are they are happy in the moment, they are very present, aren't they? So dogs are very, very present. Dogs are so appreciative of everything and grateful. Like our dogs are just like, yes, yes, yes. Like if we feed them, like I was giving one of mine yesterday, I feed mine like rabbits' ears and like odd things dried, and they're so like, yes, this is amazing, it's the best day ever. And yeah, I gave them one the more in the morning as well. But that's they're just so in the moment, aren't they? And and so joyful and so happy and so waggy, and just so much gratitude. They just show you so much gratitude, and they should they they show you happiness in the moment. And I for me, they ground me very well, so they ground me very well.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Yeah, this look a lot of people I talk to say, you know, I'll be happy when things will be good when I've only just got to get to this point, and then things are gonna be fine, just going through this one thing that's called life, folks. Right? It's just life, and if it's that flat out, actually, there's a great saying, if you don't have half an hour a day to meditate, you need to meditate for three hours. Basically, if your mind's that cluttered that you can't find the time for half an hour, you need to take some time in.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

That is for me, like when I go to bed, I'll pop on like meditation before I go to sleep, because that is like a really nice time for me, or maybe like the first 20 minutes of the day. Typically, mine would be end of the day, like to just use as a bit of a window, just a moment to not have any technology near you or anything else going on. And I think that's that's a really nice moment. The other thing I was gonna say there, Dan, would be for me within within owning dogs and having dogs and mindset, I think just being able to find that good in every moment, like looking for the good. Like you said, it's it's like finding the good, looking for the good. What is the good? Because there are so many directions, mindset-wise, that will take you for the bad. And especially when you're dog training and you're comparing to others, or you're looking at other people, or like you said, you're looking at Instagram, social media, and you're going, oh, that person's got it, or that person's got it, or that person's got it. I'm obviously not as good as that. And and the language people choose, I had a message from someone only the other day, um, and the language, um, I'm trying to think of the language, but the language that people choose, like, oh, it must be because I'm not this or I'm not that. And actually, it's nothing to do with that. Sometimes it's just the mind the space they're in when they're going into work. Like, what is the good? Find the good, what you focus on, what are you looking for? And if you look for it, you will find it. The problem is most people are looking for the wrong thing, right? They're looking

Negativity Is Often A Help Signal

SPEAKER_01 49:40

for the bad, or they're looking for the negative, or they're looking for the problem. Actually, we go into that situation looking for the good and fucking help, the whole situation changes.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Let me let me share some light on something that I think it's it's really obvious for me, but I've I've kind of been in the space for 25 years or so. When people share negative things, like they share problems, it's a cry for help. So there's a there's a saying that I love it says all expressions are an act of love or a cry for help. And it's again, it's really, really basic. But if you think of it like this, that if someone gives you a compliment, act of love, if they give you a sledge or something, it's a cry for help, right? If you if you see three things through that lens, it kind of shifts it a bit. Now, when someone gives a cry for help, like they give negative comment towards you, you know, mums and go, oh, that's because they're jealous or you know, they're lacking in their own lives, and these kind of sayings, and that's all good and well, but it doesn't actually make any sense to people. They're like, oh, yeah, okay. And it's this surface thing that we do in society where yeah, things must be just crap in their lives, and no one really knows where to put this. So I want to give some context around it because once you understand this, it makes a lot of sense. When people complain about their problems, they get sympathy, okay? And then when they get sympathy, they're getting attention and they're getting this low-level kind of connection, which they'll settle for because it's not the love that they want, but they're getting attention and they're getting, you know, mothering or whatever it might be, right? So it kind of fills their tank a little bit, and not as much as they'd like, but it's this safe kind of low-level connection. And then what happens over time is that when people immediately share their problems, they're fishing for someone to give them sympathy and say, Oh, you poor thing, and blah blah blah, that's terrible. And if someone says to me, Hey, you know, all this stuff, and Lauren's been the receiver of this, and she said to me, Oh, blah, blah, blah, this is going on, I'm like, Great, cool, that sucks. What are you doing about it? Like, all right, like, do you do you want me to hold your hand and we'll cry? Like, we we we pass that point now, and I don't like there's no malice to it. It's like, you know, if if I got punched in the face two weeks ago and sat here crying about getting punched in the face, that would be really weird. Because the pain that I felt two weeks ago is long gone, the bruise is long gone. A memory's still there, but if I keep living in the past and sharing the story and getting the sympathy, I don't really get the lesson I need. I just get a reinforcement that I can throw a pity party whenever I want. All right. And so what happens is people indulge in the drama, the story gets bigger, because the story has to get bigger so that they get more attention and more sympathy. And so what they do is they start looking for more and more problems to share. That's just a normal human condition if you choose to go down that path. I'm so adamant to not be part of that that if I start to get sick or run down and go to my mom's, and my mom goes, Oh, you poor thing, you've been working so hard. But okay, mom, thank you for caring. I know you love me to bits, and I understand what you're trying to do. You're wanting me to feel good and you want me to know that I need to look after myself. And she goes, Yeah. And I said, Please don't ever give me attention for problems. She kind of looks at me and I said, I don't. When I come home with a win, you wrap your arms around with me and congratulate me. And if I if I am struggling and I need to take a time out with Katrina or the kids or pay attention, bring that to my attention, but don't give me sympathy and positively reinforce it with love for being sick or tired or complaining. That's not going to help me at all. All right. And I've literally, literally had this conversation with my mum because she's such a love, love such a lover and a carer, she'll keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

It's it's brilliant as an observation, isn't it? Because as humans, we do that. And then if we don't get it from one person, we'll seek it from someone else, and we'll seek and we'll sometimes build up a whole crew of like sorry crew, right?

SPEAKER_00 54:15

You'll build a team of misery loves company.

SPEAKER_01 54:18

Like like mega,

Use A GPS Plan To Change

SPEAKER_01 54:20

like mega. So what do we do about it, Dan? Most importantly, what do we do about it?

SPEAKER_00 54:24

First thing you have with anything, all right? You have to identify that there's a pattern there that's a problem. Okay. So coming back to the beginning of the conversation. So you identify there's a pattern you don't like. Then you have to identify what it is you do want. Okay. So let's think of this in really simple terms of a GPS system. Let's say you're driving down the road and you're driving along and you're like, hang on a second, I don't want to go this way. This isn't, this is not the way I want to go. I keep driving the stand direction, and I never get to where I want to go. And you have that moment where you have enough emotional threshold, you think, done. All right, I'm over this. I'm done. You can then pick any random direction and start driving and roll the dice, and hopefully you'll get there. But the thing is, is in that moment you got to go, I will not settle for this. I do not want this, I want X. And X is there. Okay. And you have to be really honest with yourself because if you've gone the wrong way and you're stuffed up and made some mistakes, and we're humans, this is what we do. You go, you know what? Shit. All right, I'm off course here. Where am I? All right, because the GPS needs to know two things. It needs to know your exact location and it needs to know where you want to end up, and then it's going to figure out all the possibilities. Not one way to get there, many ways to get there. This is what your brain needs. It needs options to get from A to B so that no matter what obstacles come up, it figures out, you know, calculating a new route, calculating a new route. You want your brain to do that, not fixed on this one way to get there. So, yes, figure out there's a problem, say I'm not going this direction anymore. Second thing, know exactly where you are and go, you know what? Let's not indulge in the drama, let's not make it any worse than it is, let's not make it any better than it is, because we want to be honest about where we are and say, this is where we're at, and then go, that's where I want to go. And these are all the ways I could get there. Not should, might, the coulds. Right a full list of coulds. Okay. I could ride a bike, I could walk, I could snow ski, I could parachute, whatever all the ways that can get you to A to B, you ride them all down. And that way, when the river's flooded or the airport's closed, or the train breaks down, or the bicycle's got a flat tire, or your shoes get a blowout, you can figure out the next way. Because if you say I will crawl over glass in the snow to get there, and that's one of my goods, nothing's going to stop you. All right. But if you say the only way I can get from this place to that place is this one path, and then suddenly something blocks it, you then go into a stagnant stage of just spinning your spinning your wheels. So again, identify there's a problem, be really clear about where you are. Don't over-indulge in the drama of it and blah blah blah. Just go, okay, this is where I'm at. I'm broke, I'm fat, I'm single, whatever it is. This is the issue. Okay. This is where I want to be, and then write down all the things you could do to get there and start doing them. All right. That's the simplest way out of everything I've learned over the years to chunk it down. That's the key, right? That's the success key.

SPEAKER_01 57:32

Amazing. Does that make sense? Yeah, amazing. And and loads of sense. So if we were to do really simple, Dan, like really simple little tips tennis for like three or four just for people to go away with, like bite-sized chunks that people can go away with today. What you focus on, you get, I'm gonna say. So what you focus on, you get. So you know what? Choose very carefully what you focus on. Over to you. Really simple one.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

Right. So and I'll quickly preface this. This isn't positive thinking where you're just like, oh, everything's gonna be great. It's not gonna be great, it's gonna be great. That's not what it is. Do a self-audit, okay, and say, you know, there's a thousand different journals and different models for this. I don't really have any attachment to which one people do. You just got to do it, all right. A gratitude journal is a great one, it's been popular for years, and you write down all the things you're grateful for the day. That's a shift in mindset because now you're focusing on what you appreciate. Different mindset completely to what you're not happy with. So I would say every day, in some way, you need to get that in an expression. I'm the kind of person who will verbally say it. Tell my wife I love her, tell my kids I love them, tell them how much they mean to me, tell much, tell them how grateful they are. I am of today I paid for a masseuse to come to my business and give my staff massages. All right. They didn't stop thanking me all day. I didn't have to say thank you for everything, right? Got a massage person to give them a massage for an hour each. They're ecstatic, right? So, you know, just taking time to do things, but you need to focus always on where it is you want to go, and then do that little audit where you go, okay, what worked, what didn't. And the things that didn't work are just cues. They're just they're just a feedback loop that says this is an area to work on, not something to be upset about.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

I think that's many.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

It either works or it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

I think I think that's really big, Dan is like so many people get upset about those. That they're just let's not let's not indulge in that any longer, let's go for something else. Let's like and I think I think people just get very indulgent on the problems, like they get very addicted to the problems. And I I love that. I think being awake to the biggest addiction in the world is problems, and it's talking about problems and indulging it.

SPEAKER_00 59:53

Oh and then they all get in this this huddle where they play one upmanship about how bad shit is, and you're like, Really? Really? That's the game you want to play, you know? Look, part of me just wants to slap them. The other thing is just give them a hug and say, Listen, let's go for a walk. Right? Let's go for let's we start chatting, and then on the walk you go, things really that bad? Like, is it really that bad? Oh, well, that's not that bad. Is it well? How bad is it? Is it is it like it sounds like it's dire. Oh well, it's just a few things I need to work on.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

But we do get addicted to problems, don't we? And then the more that we think on problems, the more that we circle problems.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

The feedback loop supports you in it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

Now a great friend, yeah, is the person you ring that you tell them your problems, and they go, Cool, got it. What are you doing? What actions are you going to take? Because, as Winston Churchill, a very famous Brit, said, if you're going through hell, keep going. Don't pause there and tell everyone how hot it is. Bloody go. Get out the other side. Don't sit around and lament in it, you know, keep moving because it's that's the place you don't want to stop.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

Right?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, Dan, we have had an epic ride. There is definitely a multi-part space there. I definitely know that we've got lots more to chat on, and I know there's loads more that we can share with the dog owning community, the dog world community, and so many people who want to learn more about mindset and dog training and ultimately a level of improving what we're doing. Are you up for coming back to doing a bit more with me?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:32

Oh, 100%. Actually, even more so. What I'd say is if people have enjoyed this and like to hear my uh my viewpoints

Send Questions And Share The Show

SPEAKER_00 1:01:40

and and interpretation of things, I guess, then send some questions through to the team. And that way we can have them ready to go. And I can answer more specifically on those because you know at the moment we're just uh it's just a conversation to try to give people insights. And if there is something specific that shows up a bit, then maybe I can answer that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

Yeah, let's do that. So, guys, if you have questions, if you head over to um our our ask team, we absolutely um head over to the website, the absolute dogs website, touch base with us, we've got help form. So touch base with us and literally ask us your questions. We're here to answer you and support you and help you through your journey because at the end of the day, we're all going through this together and we may as well make it as blooming brilliant as we can. And I know that Dan, every time I chat to you, I always feel more uplifted, I always feel more inspired, I always feel more able to make logical decisions, and I also feel more able to radiate good stuff between other people. So the more I hang out with good people, good energy and sort of social circle, uh, people that uplift others, the more I then can uplift others. Be a radiator, be a radiator because the world needs more radiators, right, Dan?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:48

They do, and smiles are contagious.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

Smiles are seriously contagious, and and Dan has the best smile. And I've heard our audience many times he has an amazing set of blue eyes. So our whole team is it Dan with Blue Eyes? It's Dan with Blue Eyes. Anyway, on that note, uh, this was an amazing episode of the Sexiness Girl podcast. I hope you join us for next week's episode and make sure you share it with your friends. There are so many friends, family, lover, sister, father, brother that will want to hear this. And it's not just about dog training, there is so much more packed into this. So I'll see you next time.