Why Pulling Gets Worse

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What dogs do more of, they're gonna do even more of. They get, they get, they're always learning, and it's up to us to decide what they're learning. You know, if we continue to tolerate pulling on lead, and that's that's you know, every time we, you know, we set foot out the front door and we start walking to the park, and that becomes this high arousal pulling on lead experience that it happens every day or twice a day, and and kind of and along that route, well, the dog's gonna get really good at that.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Welcome

Pulling As A Relationship Breaker

SPEAKER_00 0:39

to the Absolute Dog Sex in a Squirrel podcast. I'm Lauren Langman. I'm one of the world's leading dog trainers, and it's my mission to help owners become their dog's top priority. In each episode, you'll discover how to gain trust and communicate with your dog like never before, creating unbreakable bonds that make you the most exciting part of their world. Dogs that pull and then keep pulling. Like, seriously, why don't they get it? Why are they not reading the message? Are they not reading the room? We don't like pulling, Alice, do we? Ideally not, no. And yet, it probably is one of the most common behavioural struggles that we get, either called about or inquiries. Like I would say, one of the inquiries that I take every day is reactivity. Another one that I take probably two or three times a day is pulling on lead. It's a real relationship breaker. Like it fills the bucket, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:29

It it is because I think on the human end of the lead, you can't help but think, why doesn't my dog want to hang out with me? And it's heartbreaking. And and actually, it's not kind of really what's going on, is it? Like, but like I do think we should probably delve a little bit into the why of why do dogs keep pulling, even even if maybe you're you're kind of you think you're tackling it. Because I think people can really tie themselves in knots over this one, can't they?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Absolutely, absolutely. Like it can be a big problem. And people don't just tie themselves in knots over it, they actually start either disliking their dog or stop walking their dog because it's a problem, or they start to almost take out on the relationship with the dog. So so it be it can become a real relationship deal breaker. So for me, I suppose with Skittle, I needed to break down not just the fact that she was pulling or how she was pulling or when she was pulling. It was actually what like the driver behind the pulling. Like, why was she pulling and what was the what was the big problem behind it? And what I realized, and I was really shocked by this one, because it took me a minute to realise it. The biggest thing behind her pulling was that relationship was a problem. And that actually hurt to realise that relationship was a problem, that she was having way more fun with the environment than she was with me. And that was a bit of a wake-up moment. It's kind of like, I don't know, finding out your partner's having an affair. And I know that like sounds like a bit too serious, but but for me, it was a it was a bit like if I let her off lead, she'd be gone anyway. Like she was, she had way more interest in everything else out there. So her interest in the environment was so high that that I really was quite insignificant in that in that space, in that scenario. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, it totally does. It totally does. Because if you think about like the environment and kind of what that is to our dogs and how they perceive things, even things like scent that we're completely oblivious to, that they're picking up, that might be such a motivating thing for them to sort of drive towards, it is something that we can struggle to be aware of, but it's it's kind of trying to perceive the dog through your uh trying to perceive the world through your dog's eyes a little bit or their nose.

Drivers Behind The Towing

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Absolutely. And and I think the other thing to think about is actually break it right down. So why do dogs pull? So why do dogs pull? And for me, one of the biggest reasons that dogs pull is they want to get something that's at the other end of the lead. So they actually want to reach something. So whether it be the park, whether it be they go to their, have their um ball trucker, whether they meet friends at the park, whether they are they're getting somewhere or they're doing something or they're scenting. And Skittle was often when she was pulling me, she was scenting, hunting, driving, going somewhere. She was always going somewhere. And the arousal was always high. And so for me, the arousal was high. She was going somewhere, she was getting somewhere. Typically, this is not dogs who are pulling away from things. This is not really the episode for that. This really is the episode of dogs trying to get somewhere, and this is this is like drivey dogs who are on a mission and are going in that direction, or they know where they're going. So, this is not really a scared dog episode. This is a this is a dog who are pulling to get somewhere, so they're kind of towing. And the big thing is opposition reflex kicks in, and when opposition reflex kicks in, you pull back and they pull forward. And so effectively you've got this like tug of war going on the whole way through, and it is not comfy, Alice. How heavy is your dog, Alice? And is it a break?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

She's nearly as heavy as me. She's yeah, she she she's well over 40 kilos, Bonnie. So this is uh pulling was was could we were in a little bit of a different situation to maybe you and Skittles because for me and Bonnie, uh, pulling could not be part of the picture because you know we we we tried that with complete obliviousness and kind of uh naivety at the start, and I would just be getting pulled over. It was not a safe situation, it was not uh an in-control situation. So we have to really readdress that and take a different approach to then sort of me being able to be a safe and in control owner, taking Bonnie for a walk. And we're there now, we we've got that, but we've gotten there step by step through playing the kind of games that we're going to be talking about. Because for us, there was going to be zero tolerance of pulling, because that was that was two high stakes with with with the the sort of balance between myself and Bonnie. That just couldn't be an option.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

For the size of her, for the size of you, and also for her bite history, realistically. Yeah, definitely bite history, pulling and out of control is just a no, isn't it? Isn't it? For sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Because when we first got Bonnie, you know, when if she was decided that she was gonna pull and lunge at something, you know, towards something, she wasn't necessarily excited to get to it. The arousal was certainly high, but she to look at her, she was not in the best headspace, she was not in the most comfortable, happy headspace to be going towards anything. It was not appropriate, it was not appropriate at all. Agreed. So, yeah, so we really needed to nail her not pulling on lead.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Yeah, and and I think it had high costs. Now, for me, often the dogs that we are talking here often is I pull, I get to go there faster. Yeah, often I pull, I get to go see something. And so I'm dealing with a lady right now, and dog pulls, his name is Ronnie. Ronnie pulls, he gets to go to the park, and then he acts like a complete imbecile in the park. And that's because he's probably got to the park and knows over aroused state anyway, and he's now like in the park, but he's kind of still in that state, and he's worked himself up the whole time he's got there, so he's he's already in a heightened state of arousal. Now, for me, a big part of that problem for Ronnie, and I'm going to be talking to his owner when his owner comes to stay next week. His owner arrives this Friday. A big part of it

Rehearsal And The Learning Loop

SPEAKER_00 7:05

is the rehearsal is a problem. So he rehearses that all the time. And what you rehearse, you become. We know that. That's that's learning. So tell me what you know about rehearsal, Alice, and tell me why rehearsal is important to acknowledge.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

So, like you say, you know, what dogs do more of, they're gonna do even more of. They get, they get, they're always learning, and it's up to us to decide what they're learning. You know, if we continue to tolerate pulling on lead, and that's that's you know, every time we you know we step foot out the front door and we start walking to the park, and that becomes this high arousal pulling on lead experience that it happens every day or twice a day, and and kind of and along that route, well, the dog's gonna get really good at that. So actually, if we interrupt that rehearsal, and actually if we kind of reset and we start rehearsing what we do want in a completely different way and in that kind of karma, low arousal state, we'll find that over time what we get is different and it and we can really change the picture.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

And and you change the emotional behaviour. That is the goal. So for Skittle, I've changed the emotional behavior, and I'm actually really proud that I have,

Rebuilding Walks With The Blueprint

SPEAKER_00 8:15

or I should say we, because it's certainly a partnership. Both Jamie and I who did the um blueprint. Uh, if you haven't seen the blueprint, for someone that hasn't seen the blueprint, Alice, why is the blueprint worth it? And and what is the blueprint? It's mega because do you know what I really love about it?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

The the way that it's structured, this course, the stress-free walks blueprint course, is structured to really take you step by step. So if if you are starting this journey and you're thinking, you know what, none of our walks are working at all, no one's having a good time, my shoulders hurting, and my dog's just rehearsing all the wrong stuff, you can just take it right back to step one, ditch the walks and start playing some of these games that teach these foundation skills from home and start it there. And then the course just guides you step by step into kind of rebuilding your walk along with your dog's skill set.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

And to be honest, actually, along with the your own skill set as a handler. Agreed. Agreed. And and I just think for me, that's mega that you're growing your skill set, they're growing their skill set, and you've got all the answers there. For me, it changed Skittle's emotions, and that's what I needed to change because there are so many dog trainers, and I think this is like epic. There are so many dog trainers that are out there working on the practical skill of training, changing the training. How about changing the brain? How about changing the emotional sort of skill set or the emotional toolkit that your dog has before even getting into that scenario? And for me, mega, like mega.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

It is because what we're literally talking about is transforming from if right now your dog thinks lead goes on, that means pull and get excited. What we're saying is we can actually change that picture by kind of taking stuff right back to the foundations, right back to the blueprint and regrow it in a way that lead on means hang out close by my owner and just chill and you know have a nice calm time. Like it you've seen it for yourself as gittles, how transformational that has been for your walks. But like you say, beyond that, actually, just her emotional well-being, her mental well-being in general has been impacted by these kind of games. What would be like your your favourite kind of reset game when you were first starting that journey,

Games That Change The Walk

SPEAKER_01 10:25

or what or what game that really switched your rehearsal up the most?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Most important for Skittle was Skittles game, which basically got her to find value behind me. So she stopped trying to push ahead of me all the time. That actually behind me had some value because everything was ahead of me. So she was always looking ahead of me, and she was always like looking, she's like the type of dog, always looking on the bright side of life. And there she was, like driving ahead. And I'm like, hang on a second. Like, and she would tow, like, she would be yanking. My I I genuinely don't know how a seven kilo dog can pull like that. And I would fear for anyone with a dog who's like 10, 15, 20, 25, 42 kilos with her attitude. Her attitude is that of a malinoir. And I have had dogs all my life. I've always had dogs. I've had dogs since I was born. I've had dogs in every space I've been in. I've taken dogs all over the world with me. I have had dogs, I've literally had dogs forever. Never have I had one as strong as her.

unknown 11:16

Never.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

I think you're right. She is, she's a malinoir and a Spaniel body.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Absolutely a malanoir. Now, all of us have corrected a dog on lead. I don't believe there is anyone out there who hasn't at some point like tensed up or corrected or pulled back or yanked or even done something harsher like a lead pop or a whatever. All of us will have corrected, whether that is intentional or unintentional, we've all we've all corrected. The big thing for me is it doesn't work. And so the lead corrections, the constant cueing, the feeding, all of those things that don't work. And there is a place for management, but actually, again, these are not real quick fixes. These are not real quick fixes. They do take some time to recondition the dog's emotional response to the walk and to the scenarios that they find themselves in takes a little bit of reconditioning. And I think that reconditioning is really important. So for me, there's lots of things we should teach instead of just walking around a village hall in figures of eight and circles. Or if you're in a village hall, you're probably going up and down in a straight line because I'm sure it's very old school training compared to where we are now. So for me, the bit that was missing, and like I said, it was a bit of a kick in the teeth because I love this dog. I mean, some days more than life itself, I would say she's definitely been a lifeline for me as a dog, and I love her wholeheartedly. But for me, the relationship was lacking, and that was really hard to hear. And the big thing was, Alice, I had loved her so much that I'd almost indulged it. And I found it funny. So I'm like, oh, look, it's funny that she's just yanked me and had a drink. Ah, look, it's funny that she's just yanked me and landed in the paddling pool. Ah, look how funny she is yanking me and landing in a bush. And now she's climbing the bush, and now she's on the top of the bush and smiling down at me. So actually, I started to find her a bit funny, and that probably wasn't the thing I needed to do. I actually think I needed to not find her funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yes, that's like it's like laughing if a toddler swears. You're like, exactly. Catches you out, but actually, okay, let's not encourage that.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

She also lacked certain skills, she lacked disengagement, she lacked re-engagement, she lacked instant downs, she lacked focus when it was when when stuff was getting difficult. She lacked understanding value because she'd get outside and she didn't really want food. Um or she'd get outside and you play toys with her, but then it would arouse the whole site because I've got like clients. For example, if I start, if she walks nicely up the lane, I've got like naughty but nice dog bang, bang, bang in the cottages. At the moment, I've got little Terry in the first cottage, I've got a little Frenchie in the second cottage, and in the third cottage, I've got a really nice Airedale. You can't walk around the corner going, get it, get it, get it, get it. That isn't gonna work. They're all looking at me now. So the fact that it's just not gonna cut it is not a good move. So for me, I needed to actually work on even her taking basic reinforcement and finding basic reinforcement quite fun when the going got tough. And for me, the best, the best part is the more that I played the games instead of going for the walk, but I did the games on the walk, the more that the lead walking got better and better and better. And all I was doing is playing games on a walk.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Like it was great, like it was really rehearsing something different, like that you were reshaping that walk to look like a series of games, whether you know, in the front yard or you know, down the lane, or kind of in what whatever kind of environment was suiting Skittle's skill set at that time, you were just sort of taking those games where she went, ah, okay, I know this one. That means that means stay behind, that means you know, keep an eye on on Lauren because she might throw something down the uniform. It's she was learning that actually the walk meant something different than it had used to.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

That that was my feeling is that she actually we had to recondition what the walk meant from start to finish. The walk didn't mean screaming, the walk didn't mean racing through puddles, the walk didn't mean jumping off the bank and like throwing yourself at things. Actually, we just had to re-school the walk a bit. So we had to just do a little bit of what we would call schooling. So she did a bit of schooling. So it might and there were there were no rules like for where she might go on lead or where she might go off lead. Initially, she was not walking, and then she went all walks on lead, and then she did walks on lead with a hybrid of like 20% off. And now I'd say she's probably 50-50. So I'd say she's probably 50-50 for on an off-lead.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

That's mega, and and the blueprint really takes you there. Like if for listeners, if you've not already dived into the blueprint and you're thinking you're about it, you're on the fence, this is literally gonna take you from a point where you might completely ditch the walks and play at home and then gradually build things up through like, you know, different levels through to when you can actually start thinking about off-lead freedom and it not be a massive big deal or something that you're gonna be like like your nerves are gonna be fried over the idea of unclipping your dog because you're gonna know they've got the skills for that, which is just fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Like, that's such a big part of it. Do they have the skills for the situation they find themselves in? Are they qualified? And I'm I mean, for example, I'm ringing someone earlier, they've gone for a job here, and they're very clearly in the ad say that they must have their own transport. And they've said, yep, mum's got transport. And I'm like, no, no, no, that doesn't count. That's like part of my skill set. So the skill set that I've asked of you, you have not got. So I really need you to have this skill set. You need to be able to drive where you need to be able to drive with your own car. And that's sometimes what we're finding, they just don't have the skill set. And so what we do is we help them to build that skill set. Now, if I think about it, what's one thing that we could notice and observe and be ready for

What To Watch On Your Next Walk

SPEAKER_00 16:26

on our next walk? And the biggest thing with Skittle was actually as soon as her head went down, I lost her. Yeah. As soon as she got her head like snipping or thinking of hunting, I lost her. So for Mitty actually noticing where she put her head down or where her eyes really I lost them and where she stopped checking in. So if she was checking in, say every minute or every 30 seconds or every 20 seconds, and then at some point in the walk, she stops checking in. So those would be things I would notice on a walk and I'd be more vigilant with on a walk. How about you, Alice?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Yeah, that that's that's really poignant, actually, because I guess for Skittles, when when she kind of got her head down, that's actually when her arousal would be susceptible to go up and where she would lose focus. With Bonnie, it was kind of the opposite, it would be like if she started staring at things and being very visually aware of things in her environment. So the games we played to kind of rebuild our walk and kind of have those nice stress-free walks is actually to encourage a little bit more sniffing because I know that if her, if her nose is to the ground, that's actually bringing her arousal down and that's giving making her more likely to go, oh, I'm gonna just check in and just see, you know, that's that's where we get into her best headspace. And that's the beauty of something like the blueprint, is that you can train the dog in front of you in a way that sets them up for success by just making those kind of observations to see what is it that is helping them to be calmer and helping them to focus on on you, on their handler, rather than letting their arousal spiral and just let the environment take control.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

And for me, the best part of all of this is it's doable. The blueprint is there. We've already created the blueprint. The the opportunity is out there for people to grab something like this, or not even something like this, to grab this. Like that the program is made, it's done. And so for me, yeah, I've it really enjoyed creating something that actually really does work. Like it really enables people to walk their dog again. And I think there's so many people that have lost hope that they'll be able to walk their dog again. For me, as a dog trainer of 25 years, I can tell you now she challenged me and she made me feel inferior, and she also made me feel like I was doing a bad job and I needed to do better. The blueprint is better. Like that is raising the roof, raising the level. It really is the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

It really is. And and like you say, for both ends of the lead, when earlier you you mentioned about kind of people who've, you know, they've everyone's been at that point of frustration where they've kind of you know yanked on the lead or kind of made a correction where they're just thinking, you know what, I know that wasn't the right thing to do, but I was just at the end of my tether. And that's our arousal state, that's our calmness state kind of going out the window and kind of frustration taking over. And actually, what the blueprint does is because we're guiding you through kind of holding your hand from step one, you know, from zero to hero, if you like, it just means that actually your calmness and your feeling of being in control is preserved and is grown throughout your confidence. I know for speaking for myself and rebuilding Bonnie's walks from a position of thinking, you know what, this is potentially dangerous, and she pulled me over. And we really can't be in public with this kind of a lack of relationship between us on you know on walks, to feeling confident and knowing that I'm safe and knowing that you know I'm calm and in control and that we can play games together and go on a lovely walk. Massive.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

That priceless absolutely massive. And and the biggest part of that is that, like you said, that's priceless and your piece is priceless. Like there is no there is no value to

Progress Not Perfection

SPEAKER_00 19:54

put on that. Now, for anybody listening, our biggest message that's both Alice and my message, you can do it. You can do it.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Definitely, absolutely, and the blueprint is there, ready made to just take you through it, you know, and hold it.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

How do they how do they get it, Alice? How can they get the blueprint? Absolute dogs.me forward slash blueprint. Nice. And blueprint is all one word? Yes. Easy, easy peasy. So, guys, you heard it here. You heard it from us. We want you to get that blueprint. And at the same time, we know that anything we've talked about, if you implement it, you are going to make progress. Progress, not perfection. Let's do it together. Thank you, Alice. You're amazing. Appreciate you being here. Guys, share this with your sister, your mother, your long lost brother. We will see you next time. It's a sexier than a squirrel podcast.