Sexier Than A Squirrel: Dog Training That Gets Real Life Results
In Sexier Than a Squirrel, the Official AbsoluteDogs Podcast, join us here at Absolute Dogs as we talk training your dog, transforming your dog training struggles and getting real-life results through GAMES!
Sexier Than A Squirrel: Dog Training That Gets Real Life Results
Concept Training: Flexibility aka I Can Roll With It
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Welcome to this episode of the Sexier than a Squirrel podcast, the podcast that brings you real-life dog training results, and sometimes human training ones too!
This week, we’re continuing our series of episodes exploring what concept training actually is and how it shows up in real life with your dog. We’re taking the concepts you hear us talk about all the time, breaking them down, and making them practical, relatable, and easy to spot in your everyday training. This time, Lauren is joined by the brilliant Alice to explore flexibility – your dog’s ability to roll with whatever life throws their way.
Does your dog know exactly when dinner should arrive? Start pestering the moment walk time approaches? Pull like a train along the familiar route to the park? Or struggle when something doesn’t happen quite the way they expected? Those everyday patterns can tell us a lot about flexibility – and what happens when expectations and reality don’t quite match.
In this episode, Lauren and Alice explore how building mental flexibility can reduce frustration, lower arousal and help dogs cope more easily when plans change. Because life does change. Walks get cancelled, holidays happen, dogs stay with other people, routines shift and sometimes the thing your dog expected simply isn’t going to happen today. The more adaptable they can be, the easier those changes become.
You’ll also hear loads of practical ways to grow flexibility through everyday life and training. From ditching the bowl and varying your walking routes to Noise Box, changing the outcome your dog expects and taking familiar behaviours into completely different situations, Lauren and Alice share simple ways to help your dog discover that different can be absolutely fine. They even explore how flexibility can help with calm comings and goings, separation and those Christmas-morning greetings every time you walk through the door.
And there’s a lesson for the human end of the lead too. Sometimes helping our dogs become more flexible means looking at our own expectations, changing the picture we had in our heads and learning to work with the dog standing in front of us.
Ready to help your dog become an “I can roll with it” kind of dog? Grab the £1 Games Club trial, explore the games that grow flexibility and discover just how much easier life can feel when change is no big deal.
https://absolutedogs.me/7daytrial
If you’re loving the podcast, you’ll love our NEW Sexier than a Squirrel Dog Training Challenge even more! Get transformational dog training today for only £27!
Want even more epic dog training fun and games and solutions to all your dog training struggles? Join us in the AbsoluteDogs Games Club!
https://absolutedogs.me/gamesclub
Want to take your learning to the next level? Jump into the games-based training membership for passionate dog owners and aspiring trainers that know they want more for themselves and their dog - Pro Dog Trainer Club!
https://absolutedogs.me/prodogtrainerclub
And while you’re here, please leave a review for us and don’t forget to hit share and post your biggest lightbulb moment! Remember, no matter what struggles you might be facing with your dog, there is always a game for that!
Expectations Create Frustration
SPEAKER_02Isn't there that the the lovely phrase about when expectations and reality don't match, that's where we get frustration. And that's just as true for our dogs as it is for us. So the more we can grow that ability to be flexible, actually it's a real kindness to them. We're kind of alleviating it a lot of potential that there could be for frustration when, you know what, when life gets in the way, when things change, you know, for for some reason, it just allows them to cope a lot better.
What Mental Flexibility Means
SPEAKER_01Welcome to the Absolute Dog Sex in a Squirrel podcast. I'm Lauren Langman. I'm one of the world's leading dog trainers, and it's my mission to help owners become their dog's top priority. In each episode, you'll discover how to gain trust and communicate with your dog like never before, creating unbreakable bonds that make you the most exciting part of their world. Flexibility as a concept. It is one mega concept. It's a big concept. Now, Alice, you like to land it, ground it, and allow people who are maybe brand new to us to understand it. Tell us a little bit about how it is in dog training.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, when we're talking about flexibility, we are we're not talking about yoga pilates or anything like that. We are talking about mental flexibility. And like you say, Lauren, this applies actually just as much as the human end of the lead as it does the dog's end of the lead. But it might sound a little bit abstract if we've got new listeners thinking, well, how can I teach my dog to be mentally flexible?
Spotting Rigid Routine Behaviours
SPEAKER_02What does that even mean? Like then I think maybe the easiest way is to describe how it looks when a dog doesn't have a mental flexible sort of um mindset. Have you got a dog that maybe barks and hassles you every time they know it is dinner time? Or a dog that does zoomies every time they know it is time for a walk, or a dog that maybe pulls at the end of the lead all the way along a familiar walking route that you've done a hundred times before. That's a dog that has a kind of a set expectation of what is supposed to happen, and if it's not happening, that's causing frustration and we're getting some frustrated behaviors. What do you think, Auren?
When Schedules Make Dogs Anxious
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And my granddad is the prime example of someone who would inhibit or stop a dog having ever any flexibility because he would be like 6 a.m. You walk the dog, you come home by 7, you feed the dog at 7 on the door. You always let them out daily lunchtime break for about 12, bring them in for about 12:15, they get their daily walk again in the evening about half past five, six o'clock, and then by six o'clock you've given them their dinner, and then they get their bedtime biscuit, and that type of thing. And so then when maybe that dog needs to go into the vets, or maybe that dog goes to stay with the dog walker, or maybe you're poorly, or maybe um you don't feel like walking your dog that day, or maybe it's horrendous thunderstorms or fireworks, or maybe your new year, or maybe you're not just going away for a mini break. Actually, that whole dog's world is upside down. They are completely upside down because there is no flexibility built into your work schedule with that dog. And actually, when you've got no flexibility built into that schedule with your dog, actually you then don't have flex. Now, when we think about humans, it's a really interesting one. I've got two or three really close people to me here at the center, and I know at the drop of the hat, if they ask me to do something or if I ask them to change, or we need to change something, we would all flex around each other. So, for example, we might be going for a hack and it starts tipping it down, and we're like, no, actually, we're not going for a hack. And for those of you who don't ride, that's getting out for a ride. We're not going out for a ride. Or it might be that we plan to do this on Friday, but there's a chance we'll do that, and if we don't do that, we'll do this. So there's so many different like flexes built in. And this is it's something that we get very, very used to when you you know what it's a really nice way to live, would be how I'd describe it. It's a really nice way to live because because you're flexible, you don't stress on the things that aren't necessarily gonna happen in the right order at the right time on the right day, like because of the flexibility you've built in. So you've almost given yourself bandwidth and you've almost removed a level of stress, would be how I would describe it. You've removed stress and you've given yourself bandwidth, and that's the human version. There's also the dog version in there. What do you think, Alice?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's that ability to go with the flow, isn't it? That ability to not sweat the small stuff and to not have a rigid expectation. And I think in dogs as well as in people, it gets easier the more you just practice it and the more that you do it.
Ditch The Bowl To Reduce Pestering
SPEAKER_02And so in the dog sense, so my dog growing up, we had a Labrador collie mix when I was growing up, and and he was fed at five o'clock every evening. So when the clocks changed in the autumn and they went back an hour, like he was he was kind of like, what is going on? What's happening? And we had to kind of start staggering meal times to kind of just get him in to sort of gradually adjust. Compare that to how we are with Bonnie, where we've completely ditched the bowl and she gets fed her daily food allowance throughout the day, depending on what we're doing. It's it's food rewards for behaviors and activities and games rather than at times. So it's a complete flip of that kind of that mentality and that structure, but it just means that actually she doesn't ever pester for kind of like thinking right now is when I should be getting fed. It's just not part of her day. It's she's got that flexibility with it.
SPEAKER_01And I love that.
Doorway Flex With Crates And Food
SPEAKER_01So where I live, we've got a lot of people in and out, Alice. And so for my dogs, sometimes I want them in the house, sometimes I want them out the house, sometimes I want someone to come past them, and I don't want them to come in. So one thing that works really, really well, it kind of aligns with your ditch the bowl, but it also aligns with flexibility. Is when I'm bringing in them in the house, I'll throw a handful of food in the crate or in the bed. For those of you that can see, I've got a really nice green crate here or turquoise crate. That crate's right next to the door because they often go in and out of that crate at the door. So it helps me to just bring in, bring out. I've got a little like gravel area there that's quite handy right next to the house so we can let them out and they don't get muddy. If we want them just to have maybe a quick sort of five-minute stretch, or maybe they want to chew on something, or maybe they just need a minute to wander around or go to the loo. There's an easy spot there. But what I really love is when I want to bring them in, I'll bring them in and I'll scatter a handful in the crate. When I want them out, I'll scatter a handful. And I've got just outside the other side of that crate, I've got a noise box. So I'll scatter a handful of food in a noise box. If you haven't seen Noise Box, join the games club. What would you say about Games Club,
Games Club And The Noise Box
SPEAKER_01Alice? And what is it and how does someone join?
SPEAKER_02Oh, Games Club is it's like the Netflix of dog training. This is where you're going to find a huge library of training videos for like games, such as Noise Box, and lots of games that will help build flexibility. If this is something that you're working on, and many, many, many more concepts besides. There is all these games where you can build your own sort of training program if you want a bit of freestyling or if you like a bit of structure. There's a dozen or more mini courses now, I think, in there, and training tracks and learning pathways. So if you prefer a structured style, we've got you covered. And there's amazing community support as well. So you can share your questions, your wins, your struggles, and everyone will be there to kind of help point you in the right direction and celebrate with you when you see some progress.
SPEAKER_01Like massive, massive, massive space of learning, like huge space of learning. Um, it's just a great, like, like you said, it's an online Netflix knowledge network base of dog training. It's just a great space. So for me, Noise Box was a game I was suggesting for one of my dogs out of the door and in the door. But it's a flexibility game because when I call you in, I need you in, and when I send you out, I need you out. But some dogs want to either come in or go out, but a lot of dogs don't want to do both. They'll either want to come in the house or go out of the house, but they don't want to do both of those things. For me, I need a dog that when I say go out, go out, come in, come in. When I say go off the lead, go off the lead. When I say go on the lead, go on the lead. But I want it to be a good deal for them and I want it to be something they also enjoy. So all of the concepts we talk about, they all go hand in hand with each other. And I think the and is important here, flexibility makes it easier every time. They're not expecting when they have to have their dinner, they're not expecting when they have to sort of change the I don't know, the walk time. Like they're very, very um flexible. And for me, that flexibility just makes life so much easier. It makes life so much better, it just makes life more enjoyable. And actually, it makes life more easy for me in the sense that my life is more stress-free because I know they're flexible to it. So I don't ever I don't ever go on holiday or leave my dogs with with teams here and think I'm really worried how the dog's gonna cope. Because actually, they are flexible. What do I mean by that, Alice? Because I I bet you feel the same. If someone else came in and I gave them roughly what needs to happen in a day, I don't need to put any set time on it other than they're probably gonna need a toilet breaker around this time. Other than that, they're pretty flexible as to how, when, and where and what happens.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely. Just that the ability for the dogs to be able to kind of go with the flow and accept if so, oh, I'm being looked after by so-and-so today, that's fine. I'm, you know, kind of not having a rigid expectation. Because isn't there that the lovely phrase about when expectations and reality don't match, that's where we get frustration. And that's just as true for our dogs as it is for us. So the more we can grow that ability to be flexible, actually, it's a real kindness to them. We're kind of alleviating it, a lot of potential that there could be for frustration when you know what, when life gets in the way, when things change, you know, for for some reason, it just allows them to cope a lot better.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And for me, when my dog copes better and my dog is happier, I am happier.
SPEAKER_00100% happier.
SPEAKER_01So it is interesting. I've had some amazing holidays, like some amazing holidays in the last 10 years, 15 years. One of them I went to Thailand, another I went to Costa Rica. Very, very special. I went to Australia teaching and training dogs, very, very special. None of those would be possible if I couldn't leave my dogs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I don't like leaving my dogs, but those are also opportunities of a lifetime. And I've made memories that I would never have made otherwise. I cannot imagine driving in a tuk-tuk with uh with my my best friend and partner next to me and Liza, and like just the most amazing experiences going in rice paddy fields and seeing really how how other people experience life and just amazing experiences. Those would not be possible without flexibility because I'm able to leave my dogs, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Simple Rules For Building Flexibility
SPEAKER_01And so for me, Alice, a couple of really important things when we think about flexibility. One, grow it into your day-to-day, two, ditch the bowl as your friend. Three, a hundred percent, no rules, no day plan, no schedule. Four for me, if you don't already play games club games, so look at the games club games and and and add those into the mix and add them into the mix at every level. And if you still are struggling with flexibility, I'm gonna add a five. And for me, that would be look at your own, because I would guess sometimes your own isn't flexible enough. Is there anything you'd like to add to that, Alice?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right. I think that when we look at our own flexibility, it actually gives us some ideas of where we can be more flexible and help our dogs be more flexible. So ones I would add to that would be not just about ditching the bowl or ditching the routine.
Ditch The Route For Better Walks
SPEAKER_02How about ditching the route? Because what one thing that I found was a real hack for helping Bonnie and helping myself was having a bit of a no-destination walk, somewhere where I can kind of walk where actually on an industrial estate, like a business park, not the most glamorous of locations, but all of the roads just link to each other. There is no particular end goal of place to go. So we could take any route at all and mix it up and keep it fresh and keep it different. And that actually, that kind of flexibility and that not that fixation on we must get to the park and pulling on lead actually helped move the needle with things like loose lead walking as well. So just thinking outside the box a little bit, thinking about how we can switch things up and do things a little bit differently can have way more effect on your dog training than you might first think.
Same Behaviour New Context
SPEAKER_01Another one that just you prompted me to think about then was I don't know, say your dog knows a certain trick with a certain object. I don't know, you put an object down and can they do two feet on it? How about can they do the other two feet on it? So can they do their back two feet on it? How about can they sit on it? How about can they lie down on it? How about can they walk past it and actually just do loose lead walking? Can they do magic hand around it? Can they play games around it? That for me is flexibility. Another flexibility game would be for me, if your dog knows a certain behaviour, like my dogs know to put their chin on things, so chin target or chin rest. How about you put a chair in front of them and then ask them to chin rest? How about you ask them to chin rest on a step? Really cute for photos. How about you ask them to chin rest um and maybe on a different surface? How about you ask them to go up with two feet on something and chin rest? So these are all flexibility exercises, same behaviour, different scenario. They're all flexibility sort of spaces for me and seeing how flexible a dog is with how their learning goes.
Change The Expected Outcome
SPEAKER_01The other one, and I quite like doing this one, is I take them to a space they expect to do one thing and I do a different thing. So, for example, I go to the arena where we train agility and I ask them to do some obedience exercises. Nice. Or I go on a walk and in my walk or on my walk, I actually just do all proximity games and we don't actually do any off-leash, we do all on leash. Or I go to a car park where they're expecting to walk, and what I do is I do games in the car park and then I drive them home. Or I will go to the hydrotherapy pool that my dogs really, really love. I'll play games in the car park and then I'll drive home. So they don't necessarily always get the outcome they're expecting, or maybe I get in the car and I get them out of the car. Or I get them in the car and I go to the shop and I bring them back again, even though they were thinking it was going to be a walk. So those for me are also all flexibility
Raising A Pup With Non Events
SPEAKER_01games. I think my dogs are really, really cool, and I think they're really, really cool because we involve them in life and we do life from day one. So we do life like the the colliepup we have, she is already hops in the van, hops out of the van, understands how the van works. She's been up to Scotland and back before she was even 14 weeks old. Scotland's like a 12-hour journey. Like she's just done life with us. So already she's very, very easy. She doesn't bark at people walking in the yard, she doesn't really notice people walking in the yard. She's done life already. Life is very sometimes she comes with us, sometimes she doesn't. She's fine with separation, she's house-trained. Like all of those things are done because of flexibility. And the other thing is, with flexibility, it goes hand in hand ditch to routine, because the more you ditch the routine, the more flexible the dog is. So because ditch to routine and flexibility go hand in hand, for me, there is no routine for her. So sometimes I walk past her in the yard and she comes, and sometimes I walk past her in the yard and she doesn't come. More often than not, she doesn't come, as in with me, because I'm not taking her. And so what I suppose I'm saying is more often than not, she doesn't expect to come. So when she does come, it's a bonus. But when she's left alone, it she's not she's not concerned. And when I say the yard, we have a front door and a big courtyard. And so if I'm working and if it's a nice day like it is right now, the dogs will be out in the front courtyard a lot of the time. And and if it's her turn to come, great. And if it's not her turn to come, great. Like both are a good option for her. So yeah, for me, all of those things matter. Anything else you want to add, Alice, before we wrap up?
SPEAKER_02No, I think only just to summarize what you've just said, which was that from what you've described, this this young pup has a lot of nice experience of having like non-event, no big deal kind of experiences that so that there isn't that spike in arousal when you come out thinking, oh great, it's gonna be a big, exciting moment. I'm gonna go somewhere, I'm gonna go on an adventure. Sometimes it's just, oh hey, Lauren, yeah, that's cool. How are you doing? And a nice sort of just chill that non-event moment. And that is such a beautiful way of doing flexibility as well, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01It's all the time, like if I walk over to the yard now, I know a lot of our listeners obviously are listening and can't see, but if I walk over now, she is in the yard. I've got my other dogs behind me. She's over there, and we've always got a noise box out. So if you look, there is a noise box. She's over here, near the noise box, in the noise box, actually. Uh, she can hear that I've come to the door, but she's just wandering around. But if I walk out and she'll find things to do, but if I go to walk out, she'll go to go towards the door, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so you're here. But she's got a bottle in her mouth, actually. She's got a plastic bottle in her mouth, and now she's lying down with a plastic bottle. And equally, if I close the door, it's not a big event to her. So that's not a big event. So closing the door and opening the door isn't anything, isn't anything major. And that for me is really important. That she's actually a dog, and then those three are still sat over there on their bed. That for me is really important learning and dog training. So that actually it's not a big deal whether you're in or out or around or not around. Actually, you're cool with life. Yet when asked to be proximity close, yes, I want you, but right now you're good doing you, you
Calm Greetings And Owner Energy
SPEAKER_01do you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And how many people listening are gonna think, goodness me, because my dog goes wild every time I come home from work or if I'm leaving the house or something like this. And actually, when you but play the right games and you grow those skills so that your dog can be flexible to whether you're you're present or not, you know, and it be no big deal and it not be this massive spike in arousal, that's just happier for everyone, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01It's a funny thing. I've got a friend, and I think that part of the the greeting is her greeting as well. And I think there's sometimes, and I'm probably this is a bit deep for a podcast, but there's a huge need to be loved. And sometimes our dogs can fulfil that huge need to be loved. For me, whilst I like being loved, I also really love coming into a calm household. And when you've got multi-dogs, it's really important your household is calm. If not, I think you'll get squabbles. So for me, I think part of that comes down to owner as well. What do you think, Alice?
SPEAKER_02Definitely, definitely. And and and I think that is, is it often we do we kind of we kind of like that excited greeting because it does make us feel very important and very special. But but actually, you know, not not every time when you walk in the house needs to feel like Christmas morning to your dog, and actually giving them that gift of calmness and that gift of flexibility to kind of just be cool with a changing environment or a changing, you know, situation is is a real kindness to them. And you know, and and I think we can we can be flexible to that.
SPEAKER_01Um massive, massive, massive. For me, being able to walk into the house and being able to walk out of the house and my dog be settled and calm and happy and cool, that makes me feel good. So I've enjoyed it because owning a multi-dog household, you don't want to spike an arousal. And also when you leave the house, if you have a howling dog, it really does stress you out. So for me, I've loved having dogs that I walk in and walk out with, and they're they're all really cool, and now they make it easy for me because if you've got one that isn't cool, you just put the one with one that is cool, and all of my dogs are cool except a new one that I might bring in. And so, right now I've got no new one to bring in. Everyone is cool, but when you bring a new one in, it can change.
When Flexibility Slips Build Again
SPEAKER_01The other thing that can change it, your dog might be really flexible and really cool, and everything might be really like great, and then suddenly they're not, and that's because an event might happen. So, right, you can go back, you can grow games, you can go back to all the spaces you did to start with, and you grow it again. For me, a couple of things that really help with that. Again, my noise box is a massive tool for me. My all of my games, I just ground and pull the games. And for those of you that aren't in Games Club, Games Club has a Blink bot, which is effectively a bot that will go and retrieve all the games for you. And that can be really useful, right, Alice, because it can actually show people where to start.
SPEAKER_02Definitely, because it, yeah, if you if you jump in and you think, well, I know what struggle I'm trying to train and and and what you know what thing I'd like to see progress with in my dog training, but I'm not really quite sure which games I need to make that happen. You can just ask the question to Blinkbot, and she will pull up all the kind of the information that you need so that you can navigate your way around games club and and find the things that you need really quickly.
SPEAKER_01Such a great opportunity for people. Like I said, if you haven't already, jump in and
Flexibility Helps Humans Too
SPEAKER_01grab it. For me, flexibility, probably one of my favorite human strengths, let alone dog strengths. And I would certainly say I'm a heck of a lot more flexible than I was five years ago. I wouldn't say I'm as flexible as I could be. I think I could still be more flexible, and I'm not talking yoga and Pilates. I definitely still think there are certain things I'm not so flexible on. For example, I don't know, I don't like people putting muddy boots in my car. I'm not very flexible on that. Um, I don't like people wearing muddy boots in the house. They all link to mess, actually. Interestingly. Mine do link, those would be some of my like rules. I'm not flexible on some things, but I'm very, very flexible on others. For example, if we might change a date or move a move a scenario with, I don't know, training, or maybe one day we're doing one course and the next day we're doing a different course. Like I'm very flexible in those spaces where I wasn't before. And so flexibility really does not just help your dog, it really can help you too. How about you, Alice, from the flexibility of humans point of view?
SPEAKER_02Definitely, definitely. Yeah, whether it's well, yeah, I think the the main thing where I've found myself being more flexible in the last five years is actually in dog training, like from getting Bonnie and thinking, oh, I've got this the dog owning dream, of we're gonna go on walks, and we're gonna do all this, we're gonna do all that, and then actually realizing that Bonnie didn't have a lot of the skills necessary to be able to do those things and it be enjoyable and stress-free. So I had to be really flexible about my outlook on you know what it meant to own this particular dog and what training she needed, and how we needed to kind of actually rethink life a little bit to kind of help get her there. So she's she has she's taught me to be flexible and probably more than I've taught her to be flexible, to be honest.
SPEAKER_01Great. It's really, really great. So, guys, if your dog's not flexible, there's a game for that.
Final Push To Do The Work
SPEAKER_01There's a games club for that, there's a whole world of games for that. Listen to Alice, listen to myself. We know this stuff. We've done it, we've played it, we've got real life results to prove it. Both with mass diffs that are pretty difficult. And you know what, sports dogs who are pretty full on. Most of all, do the flexibility work because it will pay off in the long run.